Man on Waves
by The Author's Mighty Pen
Summary: When John Bates takes over the management and operation of the lighthouse he expects a life of quiet and serenity. What he does not expect is to save the life of prominent Council Member and fishery magnate, Robert Crawley, or to meet the manager of the day-to-day operations of the closest fishery, Anna Smith. What follows, between the tumults of wind, rain, and sea, is unknown
1. Chapter 1

Quiet. That was all he wanted. After so many years of noise and bustle in the Navy, after the sobs and screams of prison, and the yelling matches that tore at his vocal chords in his destroyed marriage, this was the quiet he wanted.

John Bates looked up at the lighthouse, barely listening the deep growl of the man next to him retiring from his position at the lighthouse. He nodded in all the right places, taking his cues from the side of gaze when the man looked at him, but his focus was on the tall, white building standing solitary sentinel on the cliff face.

The man led him inside and John kept pace, wincing occasionally as his knee groaned. The ground floor was nothing especially fancy, though the man's wife was pleasant as she insisted they take a minute for tea. Her Scottish brogue touched a bit at John's heart strings and he sat down before his tour guide had a moment to object on the grounds, "upsetting the order of things."

"Mr. Carson always objects to anything that could upset his day." The woman smiled at John and he returned it over the edge of the teacup.

"I usually do too but my mother taught me to be polite and never turn down an offered kindness." He took another sip, "Though my grandmother would've approved of this china."

"My grandmother bought it and gave it to my mother." The woman sighed at the cup, "Always thought it should represent the family."

"Tradition is important." Mr. Carson still stood, holding the ends of his jacket sleeves in his hands as his arms swung in time with the slight rise he took every few seconds onto the balls of his feet. "We uphold a noble tradition here at this lighthouse and I would hate for anyone to destroy that."

"Oh for heaven's sake the man's been here less than five minutes and already you talk as though he'll bring the house down in a day." The woman sighed, shaking her head and John just took another sip of his tea. "You think the world would end because we're moving just down the coast."

"And who says it won't Mrs. Hughes?"

"I do and so does he." She stood, pointing at John, "I'm sure a man who knows his china is more than prepared for the finer details of caring for a house like this."

"My grandfather worked in a lighthouse when I was a boy." John put down his cup and stood as well, though his knee complained and he tried to hide the wince with a twitch of his mouth.

Mrs. Hughes, however, caught it. "Are you sure you'll be alright to manage all those steps and ladders?"

"I'll manage." He smiled at her and pointed to the stairs, "Might you give me the grand tour?"

"Absolutely and Mr. Carson will go wait for you up by the light." Mrs. Hughes, with her husband's mouth agape, led John about the lower level sitting room, wash room, and the adjoining office they added in their tenure.

"Mr. Carson used to do all the ledger work on the kitchen table until I put my foot down. We requested an additional office and meeting room for the efficient running of the lighthouse and the Council agreed. Though I doubt they would've if Mr. Carson didn't have the support of the Crawleys."

"The who?" John stopped, one of the pages in his hand falling back to the ledger as he flicked quickly through its contents to get a sense of how the system Mr. Carson assembled worked.

"The Crawleys own several of the fisheries up and down the coast. Mr. Carson used to work as one of their managers until he decided he wanted a quieter life. They respected him so much they lobbied for the position and won it for him. He owes them everything and with all the good work he did they owe him the safe return of half their fleet. Especially after the hurricane a few years ago." Mrs. Hughes sighed again as she looked around the office. "It does look nice. Though it may need a bit of paint."

"I'm not opposed to a bit of hard labor myself." John took stock of the walls, "But I agree, it may need paint."

"Just get your list to Mr. Mosely. He handles all the buying for the lighthouse and manages the grounds."

"Keeps me focused on saving the ships then?" John smiled and waved with his hand so Mrs. Hughes could exit the office first and start up the stairs.

"Exactly that. It's why I was brought on as housekeeper."

"After Mr. Carson?"

"Oh no, long before him. I worked in this lighthouse since I moved from home. I managed it better than I did my own place."

"Until it became your place." John noted and Mrs. Hughes gave me a look.

"You've got a bit of cheek to you Mr. Bates."

"The touch of the Blarney. One of my mother's gifts to me. It goes well with my delicate Irish complexion." John examined the second floor, looking in on the two bedrooms, another washroom, and a smaller sitting room.

"As long as you can bare to talk to yourself. It does get a tad lonely here, make no mistake on that." Mrs. Hughes continued up the stairs, winding tighter as the lighthouse tucked toward the top.

"Part of the appeal of the position." John looked into the last lavatory, the smallest bedroom yet, and a tiny office. "Did Mr. Carson not want this space for his work."

"This was where he did it before he wanted to gain my attentions. I cooked for him occasionally, when the cook was on holiday or ill."

"And that's when he fell in love with you?" Joh smiled to himself as Mrs. Hughes blushed a bit.

"I prefer to think of it as a meeting of two like minds in the twilight of life." She pointed to the ladder. "Mr. Carson will be waiting up there for me."

"You're not coming?"

"No," She waved her hand, "I'm not a fan of the height for a start and second Mr. Carson is very particular that the only person allowed near the light itself are those trained to use it."

"Tradition or it all falls apart then?" John grabbed the ladder and started up.

"Exactly that. I'll see you when you come back down Mr. Bates."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hughes."

John finished his climb to the top of the lighthouse and took a moment for his breath to return. Partly because of the climb up the stairs and the ladder. The other part was the view.

He knew what waited at the top of a lighthouse. He knew the ocean almost as well as he knew himself. That was what the Navy did for a man. But this, looking out with unfettered access and without the risk of a superior officer shouting about wasting time. John took a deep breath and felt to his bones that he'd made the right decision.

"If you're quite done Mr. Bates I believe we have some particulars to go over before I can hand over the care of this lighthouse to you."

"Absolutely Mr. Carson. I am ready."

Mr. Carson brought his mouth up as he looked John over with what might be disapproval, "We'll see."


	2. Chapter 2

It was exactly what he hoped it would be. He woke early, checked the lighting mechanism, walked the cliffs to the little town where he took breakfast in a tavern called "The Delicate Spoon", and then walked back to the lighthouse. Usually the cleaning woman, a very timid girl named Daisy who never spoke or looked him in the eye, was gone by then… which was the reason for his routine. He didn't want to scare the girl as he had the first few days when he tried to speak to her. The first time he thought she might just faint dead away.

About a month into his tenure at the lighthouse John walked into the pub for a late afternoon lunch. He'd gotten so carried away in the paperwork and catching up all the ledgers for orders, repairs, and weather patterns he'd let the meal Daisy left for him go cold. He felt guilty, considering all the effort she put in on a daily basis and because she was a gifted cook, so he quietly tipped it into the bin and walked himself to the village.

He didn't know anyone. Apart from Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes but they moved to the other side of the town. Since he didn't attend church services with the rest of the village the only chance he had to make new acquaintances was at the tavern… and he wasn't one for small talk. Too many questions about where you come from, what brings you here, what's your story and none of those had answers that left the mood lighter than it started. John worked the lighthouse because he liked working alone… he just shrugged and realized it meant he'd probably be alone in everything else too.

Unfortunately for him the tavern was crowded in the afternoon. News of a large storm headed their way pricked his interested and he shuffled in behind a few of the fishermen discussing it at the bar. One saw him and scooted over, elbowing the man next to him to budge up as well.

"Let the man through. He looks like he could use a kip." The man slapped the bar to summon the short, russet-haired owner. "A large one for the new friend who's just popped by."

"The usual then?" She asked over the din, meeting John's eyes and he nodded to her.

"That would be lovely, Mrs. Patmore."

The first man smiled and stuck a hand in John's direction. "Tom."

"No, my name's John." John only realized, after the man laughed and the two men next to him- mere boys really- also chuckled a little nervously.

"No, I'm Tom. Tom Branson. I captain one of the trawlers." John shook the man's hand. "You come here often then? Haven't seen you around before but if Pat says you've got a usual then you must be regular."

"I don't usually come for lunch but I missed mine and thought I should get some. And since I heard now about the oncoming storm I feel a bit lucky to've come by." John took the drink with a smile to Mrs. Patmore before addressing Tom again. "And I'm John Bates."

"You work in the fisheries then John?" Tom leaned back, taking a pull from his drink.

"No. I operate the light."

"Our guardian angel then. And, if I'm not mistaking my accents, a fellow Irishmen?" Tom winked and raised his drink. "To the Emerald Isle eh?"

"I can always drink to that." John clinked his cup with Tom's and eyed his friends. "Who are your friends?"

"Oh." Tom wiped at his mouth with a sleeve before putting his arm over the shy, blonde man. "This is William Mason. Son of the proprietor's mister if you catch my drift."

John looked over the bar to see Mrs. Patmore sharing a laugh with an older man. Bearded and slightly hunched like life took a toll on his back but not his shiny eyes or kind smile. John studied William and the older man and noted the resemblance in the face. That young, innocent look he hoped William didn't lose the way his father hadn't.

"And this," Tom pulled the ginger, gangly, giant from the corner, "Is Alfred. Recently took him on board and he learns fast but still hitting all the lintels. Can't seem to tell him enough times to duck."

"When his forehead is bruised enough he won't even feel it." John nodded to Alfred, "I had a few problems like that myself in the Navy."

"You served on the seas for the Empire then?" William's eyes brightened considerably, "What's it like?"

"Hard and boring." John finished his drink and set it on the bar. "Nothing worse than being out on the ocean, having someone tell you to keep a sharp eye, and then realizing there's nothing to keep a sharp eye on."

"So you didn't see any action then?" William almost looked gutted.

"I didn't say that." John went to say something else but looked up in time to see the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen enter the tavern.

She couldn't be more than five foot tall but she didn't cower. She held herself tall, as though she knew whatever purpose she had was important and nothing could deter her from her goal. She scanned the crowd, stepping onto her tiptoes for a moment to get over the shoulders of the dark, musty coats worn by the fishermen packed into the tavern.

As she looked over the crowd her eyes alighted on John and made her way toward him. Brushing at his coat it only took a moment for John to realize she wasn't looking at him but at Tom and his two companions. She weaved through the men, pushed just enough to get by, and gave a hard glare to any who dared raise a voice to her intentions. She reached them and put her hands on her hips in front of Tom.

"Mr. Branson."

"Ms. Smith."

"I'm sure you know why I'm here."

"To have a bite at the best tavern in town?" Tom winked at John but Ms. Smith's only raised an eyebrow. Tom immediately swallowed and became serious. "You're here about the boat."

"I told you not to take her out without clearance. You said she'd been listing starboard and I warned you not to get her too far out or you may not be able to bring her back."

"I brought her back."

"She's taken on water in hold Tom and tied to the dock sideways. She looks a right state." Ms. Smith sighed, "I'll have to report your actions and you know what that'll mean."

Tom hung his head. "I do."

Ms. Smith kept her hard look a moment more before John watched her blue eyes soften. "Fine. If you can drain her hull, patch her, and get her checked from stem to stern then I'll forget this happened but I expect that inspection report on my desk by closing today."

"Absolutely Ms. Smith." Tom lightly thwacked Alfred and William on the shoulders. "Come on boys, we've got to get the _Morning Star_ shining like the beauty she is."

Ms. Smith stepped to the side as the trio made way through the crowd, Tom shouting no fewer than three times, "Oi, clear off" before they made the door. Ms. Smith laughed, still not noticing John standing to the side until he spoke.

"You have a beautiful laugh." She turned, starting at the sound of his voice so close to her and John cursed himself. Once for scaring her and the second time for saying something so presumptuous. "I apologize, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Yes you do." She crossed her arms over her chest but not in a defensive way or as a posture. She merely wanted to size him up as he had her when she walked into the tavern. "You thought I had a beautiful laugh and you wanted to tell me so. I see no problem in speaking one's mind to pay a compliment."

"Is that how you'll take it Ms. Smith?" John extended his hand and she took it. Her grip was firm and she pumped his hand once before drawing him a bit closer to hear better.

"How else could I take it Mr.?"

"Bates. John Bates."

"Strong name." She released his hand. "You must be new. I know everyone in this tavern. All the faces and their families."

"Because you live here?"

"That and I manage the fishery." She wrinkled her nose a bit, "Though I'm not usually in here long enough to notice the smell."

"Wet must not your scent then?"

"I spend all day with fish so what bothers me is when heat mixes with the smell. Makes one rather lose their appetite."

"Well then, Ms. Smith," John put the money for his drink on the bar and gestured with his shoulder toward the door, "Might I tempt you to continue this conversation outside?"

"I could hear you better there."

John moved to the door, his larger frame helpful in moving the men about and allowing the two of them to part the way enough to escape. The wind picked up while John was inside and he noted the storm clouds on the horizon. He licked his finger and held it to the air before wiping it on his trousers.

"Storm's coming."

"Yes it is." Ms. Smith pulled her coat about her, "But at least we are moving toward summer. I don't mind a warm rain but a cold one is just unbearable."

"I quite agree. Too much time out in that and you catch more than your death." John waited a moment, finally seeing Ms. Smith clearly. "If you don't think me too bold I might also mention that your eyes fit your job."

"What?" She frowned a moment.

"The blue color. It's like the best days on the ocean."

"Oh." She half-smiled, hiding her face slightly as a faint red tinge took over her cheeks. "That's lovely of you to say."

"One can't help but compliment a beautiful woman." John almost kicked himself at the presumption but his right leg twinged and he tried to massage it without her noticing but she seemed intuitive enough.

"Then you must not have met very many."

"I'm met my share but I'd say you may be the most beautiful of them all."

"You certainly are a charmer Mr. Bates. Now I know you're new here because I'd remember someone as smooth as yourself if they'd complimented me before." She looked him over, "Naval man?"

"Retired."

"Because of an injury?" She pointed to the leg he massaged and it was John's turn to blush a little. "Sorry, it's none of my business."

"No, it's fine." John stood, still feeling the twinge. "It was actually a Naval injury but I was discharged for another reason."

"I won't be so bold as to ask what that was." Ms. Smith smiled at him. "However, if you like, I want to have a go at some boldness of my own and ask you to share dinner with me when you're not busy doing whatever it is that brought you here."

"Dinner's not a good idea." John mumbled, looking over his shoulder at the lighthouse and the clouds closing in. When he turned back he saw Ms. Smith's face downcast. "No, no, that's not what I meant."

"It sounded as direct as your compliments Mr. Bates and I understood those."

"No, it's because of my work. I operate the lighthouse. I have to be available for the night."

Ms. Smith brightened immediately and smiled at him. "Well, then perhaps it would be better to give you two options."

"What options?"

"Either the first, I bring dinner to you or the second, we share a breakfast."

"I was always more partial to a breakfast." John smiled and Ms. Smith smiled with him. "I leave it to you to pick the day and we can breakfast together."

"My day just starting and yours finishing is it?" She pointed her hand toward the lighthouse. "I'll find a day when it won't be too busy with catch of the morning and tell you."

"I wait on your invitation Ms. Smith." John bowed to her and she laughed at his antics. "I'm nothing if not a gentleman."

"I sure hope so." She held out her hand again and he kissed it. The moment his lips touched her skin he felt her shiver. He looked into her eyes and noted they were darker. He kept her hand in his grip, rubbing his thumb over the area he'd just kissed before releasing his grip.

"It's a fact. Ms. Smith."

"Anna." Her voice sounded slightly strained and he watched her shake herself, trying to breath normally.

"Sorry?"

"My name is Anna. 'Ms. Smith' is formal and for my subordinates. Not the name I use with my friends."

"I do hope that's what we are," John smiled, "Anna."

He set off, his leg still tight and so he limped on it slightly. A hand came to his arm and he saw Anna there.

"Would you like me to walk with you?"

"I'll manage."

"Of course you can." She stepped back and he noted it wasn't pity in her eyes. This was affirmation. "I just wasn't sure I wanted to leave your company as yet. If you don't mind the company."

"Company, Ms. Smith, would be delightful." He extended his arm to her and she weaved her hands in the crook of his elbow.

"Anna." She chided but the smile on her face said otherwise.

"Anna." He said again, liking the way the name fit in his mouth. "I'll remember."


	3. Chapter 3

They had tea. He kept a few packets in the kitchen for colder, longer nights but most of the time he would go into town for tea. It was the only way to break up his mostly ordinary days. But now, sitting across his small table from the most beautiful woman in the world, John wished he kept a better supply in his cupboards.

"I'm sorry I only have mint. I don't usually have guests and those that do come by are the cleaning girl and maybe members of the Council passing on their gratitude that I accepted the post."

"Was it hard to get?" She sipped from the cup before drawing it away from her face, "I do love this pattern."

"It was my mother's and not really." John finished his drink and tried to find something to do with his hands. "Not many people want to live a quiet life that works the hours I do."

"But you don't mind it?" She set the cup down and John took a moment to answer, too consumed in her eyes. "John?"

"What? Sorry, no I don't mind it." John looked up, as if he could see the light through all the levels of the lighthouse. "It's peaceful and I like the quiet."

"People only say that when they haven't had enough of it." She smiled and picked up her cup again.

"Speaking from experience Ms. Smith?"

"Yes, _Mr. Bates_ ," She sipped the tea before putting it back. "I grew up in a house with a younger sister but I entered the workforce young so it's been machines, people, and bustle every day since I was eleven."

"I can sympathize." John nodded, standing and stretching his leg. "I joined the Navy as soon as I could and didn't realize what I'd done until I couldn't possibly swim home."

Anna laughed, standing as well for John to escort her to the door. "My decisions weren't so much about escape. Well, not in that way."

She stopped herself, smiling, "But here I am, robbing you of that peace and quiet you took up a lighthouse to secure for yourself."

"I guess the concept of peaceful depends greatly on the company one has." John almost bit his tongue, thinking he overstepped the mark… again.

But Anna only smiled brighter, "I guess it does. Tea time has never been as restful for me as this. Usually I'm looking over reports on the boats, the ledgers for our hauls, or scheduling our ways around suppliers and inspectors."

"Perhaps you should come here for the quiet." John glanced over at the stairs and chewed a bit on his cheek as he rolled a thought over in his mind. "In fact, I think I have just the thing for you."

"Really?" Anna paused, hand still on the door handle. "I wouldn't be interrupting your day?"

"That's just it. It's a part of my day that I think you need to see." John nodded his head toward the stairs. "Follow me."

John started up the stairs, listening intently to hear the lighter footsteps behind him. He smiled, feeling his heart lighten at the noise. They made their way up the two flights of stairs and John waited for Anna to join him on the landing below the light. She blew out, looking a little winded.

"I don't know how you do that every day."

"Probably the same way you walk the fishery day in and day out. I only have to come up and down a few times a day so it's not the struggle you'd think." He put his hands on the ladder, "I'll go up first and then call down to you."

"Now you've got me intrigued Mr. Bates."

He ducked his head, giving a little laugh at her using his last name since he wouldn't call her by her first name. She made a face and tried to look aloof. "I am waiting Mr. Bates."

He hurried up the ladder and opened the light, readying everything he needed to work the light before calling down to her. He stepped to the side as she almost had her head out of the space in the floor when he stopped her.

"You'll have to close your eyes."

"If this is a surprise I'll warn you it's not my birthday." She waited but he didn't answer. With a sigh and a little pout she closed her eyes and reached out a hand.

John took it and helped her to the spot he picked out. Putting a hand on her shoulder, another on her hip, he adjusted her in place. In that moment he couldn't fail to notice the little shiver she gave and was sure she felt the thrill that ran through him.

"Don't look yet." He warned, stepping back to the light and fiddled with the mechanism for a moment before starting the light.

"Alright," He shook out the match and stepped in her line of sight, "You can open your eyes now."

She did and he watched her whole body relax as she breathed out. She risked a step forward, putting a gentle hand on the windows that kept them in with the light as it started to slowly shine out on the darkening sea.

"This-" She tried to find her voice and only sighed, "This is incredible."

"That's the view I have every day." John took a seat, still watching her look out from her vantage point. "My little haven."

" _Where sun meets sky/where earth meets heaven/there we will find one another_." She whispered and John leaned forward.

"What?"

"It's nothing." Anna waved her hand, blushing and acting flustered, "Just something I read a long time ago. It's nothing."

"It's beautiful." John pointed to a seat and Anna sat across from him. "And perfect for the view."

"I think I could say anything to you and you'd think it was poetic." She made a face at him and John shrugged. "You don't know me nearly well enough Mr. Bates to give me that kind of leeway."

"I think I know enough about you for now to know I want to invite you breakfast." John stood, "With that storm blowing in it will be a busy night for me and a busy morning for you."

"Yes." She stood, "I have at least two troublesome boats that will come in tomorrow needing more love than I want to give them."

"I think you'd have more than enough love to give anything." John risked and Anna cocked her head to the side, thinking it over before agreeing.

"I think you're right." She moved gingerly back to the trapdoor over the ladder. "About needing to leave as well. You have a job here and I have a job that'll take all I have tomorrow."

"Let me walk you out Ms. Smith." John led down the ladder, there to help her if her foot slipped.

She joined him on the landing and eyed the stairs. "Are they wide enough for us to walk together. Seeing as we both know the way now?"

John offered her his left arm, "I think we'll manage."

John waved after her for a few moments after she turned back to the road for the last time before he stopped himself. He shook his head, "Get your mind focused, Bates, you can't have her."

He entered his kitchen, going into the office a moment to check over the ledgers and light a few of the lamps in the room. There were switches for the electricity but the man hadn't come to check it after the last lightning strike so John didn't want to risk it.

He took one of the lamps up the second landing, selecting a few books from one of the shelves he set up in the spare room, before making his way up the ladder to the light. He set the books on the bench, kept spare candles within reach, and made himself comfortable keeping his face turned toward the sea.

Reading was always his favorite pastime but he found his eyes wouldn't focus on the novels he had. He tried all three of them before finally setting them aside and pulling his right leg up to stretch it out. His mind wouldn't focus on anything.

But he knew that wasn't necessarily true.

His mind focused on Anna.

Someone who ran one of the Crawley fisheries had to be competent. Someone who could shame an Irish sailor and his two friends into leaving a pub was a force to respected. Someone who would look on a cripple like him but only see a man was obviously too kind to be real.

John shook his head, "I'm wasting my time and she'll soon realize she's wasting hers as well."

He settled into position, keeping his eye on the horizon, occasionally adjusting the light as the dark fully set in and a light rain started. The tap-tap-tap against the window set into a rhythm that reminded him of his mother's knitting needles when he was young. He leaned back, remembering his mother on stormy winter nights knitting away in her rocking chair while he read on the floor.

The rain snapped against the window and John looked over, holding the lamp higher to see the rain lash the window now as the wind picked up to howl through the tiniest of cracks. He walked to one of the windows, squinting into the darkness to judge the wind based not just on the noise but how it whipped the trees below. One bent almost double and snapped back with the force.

John whistled to himself, "I don't envy anyone out tonight."

As he turned back to his seat he noted a small light out on the ocean. He turned the big light toward the small speck and saw a fishing boat struggling in the gale. It fought at the waves battling to sink it and the wind driving it toward the rocks below.

In that instant John felt his naval training kick in and he held the lamp high as he hurried down the ladder. He took the stairs as fast as his leg would allow and almost upended his lamp on the table with the force he used dropping it. Shoving his legs through the trousers of his rain suit and forcing his arms into the coat he buttoned up before grabbing his boots.

The backdoor banged against the stopper as he hurried down the path to the beach. He stopped for only a moment judging the windspeed and the height of the waves before he found his boat. He only needed to get far enough to guide the fishing boat to shore and with his dinghy to the sloop struggling in the tempest.

Pushing into the waves, keeping the light out off the bow he rowed into the surf. He used his shoulder, keeping the brim of his hat low, and focused on the boat trying to avoid the rocks. The oars pulled in time with the waves taking him farther into the ocean and he strained to keep control over his speed.

The closer he drew to the sloop the more he realized only two people were aboard it. In calmer weather they would've been enough for the craft, but in this their inexperience was showing. John watched, almost mortified, as the sloop hit the rocks. Even over the wind he could hear the snap of the wood as it crushed the bow.

John pulled alongside and shouted over the wind, "Leave it."

An older man leaned over the side, "My man's been injured."

"Toss me a line then." John tried to keep the boat as close as possible as the older man disappeared briefly before pulling a young man under the arms to the side.

"Take him."

John reached up, feeling the boat unsteady beneath him and grabbed the legs of the man enough to help him into the boat. They both tumbled into the bottom of the dinghy but John stopped the other man hitting his head. He dragged the younger man to the side, keeping him out of the way of the oars as he called back up to the boat.

"Now you sir."

There was no response and John debated what to do. He could barely keep control of his boat, he was already soaked, the unconscious man in his boat was drenched and could possibly catch his death if John waited but there was another man on board. To wait could mean death for all three of them but to leave would surely spell death for the other man.

"Sir!" John shouted up and saw the man struggling over the side.

John reached up, grabbed at the man's belt, and pulled him into the dinghy before taking the oars back. The man stumbled into the stern of the boat, pointing to the younger man in the bow.

"Is he alright?"

"He'll be fine when we can get him into warmer clothes. You as well sir." John pulled with all his might against the waves, fighting them to get back to shore.

"How did you see us?"

"I work in the lighthouse sir." John fought the waves, gritting his teeth against the pull he could feel in his shoulders. "I saw your light and thought I should investigate."

"And you came out to save us."

"Naval training sir." John saw the beach just ahead, "Keep a tight hold sir, this could be a rough landing."

He felt the boat bump and jumped out of the side, pulling on the bow to get the boat onto the beach. In a moment the other man joined him and they pulled the boat from the water's reach. John tied it in place, helping remove the unconscious man before flipping it bottom-up on the beach.

"Just up here sir." John led the way, putting himself under the unconscious man's other arm as they took the path back toward the lighthouse.

John led them inside, helping strip the unconscious man of his wet clothes before dragging him up to the spare bedroom to wrap him in blankets. He offered a towel and a blanket to the older man as he went to his room for his dressing gown and a blanket of his own. With both men settled John set the kettle to brew and returned to check the unconscious man.

The older man stood over him, holding the blanket tight about his own body as he shivered slightly. He looked up as John entered and nodded to him.

"Not how you expected your day to go I hazard."

"All in a day's work sir." John smiled at him and extended a hand, "Sorry, John Bates."

"Robert Crawley." The older man shook John's hand with vigor, "And this poor chap is Thomas, my valet."

"Can I ask what you and your valet were doing out at this time of night in such a storm?"

"You'll think me foolish." Robert took a chair and John sighed.

"I already think you foolish sir."

Robert laughed, "Then I have nothing to lose."

"If it's personal sir-"

"No," Robert waved away any of John's arguments. "It was nothing but me trying to prove to my wife that I was too young to be a grandfather."

"You wanted to prove your youth by dying sir?" John checked Thomas' temperature and shook his head, "I need to fetch a doctor to look at him. I barely have medic training for this."

"But you were a naval man yes? That's what they said when the Council approved you."

John realized who he was talking to, "You're _that_ Robert Crawley?"

"Yes." Robert paused, "Which is better than being known as the _late_ Robert Crawley and dear chap that is all down to you."

"I can't say-"

"No, no, no," Robert stood, stopping John from speaking again, "You saved my life and for that I owe you. Thomas owes you, or will once a doctor ensures he'll be awake to know you saved him."

"Sir it is just my job."

"Your job is to man the light. What you did was above and beyond that duty." Robert clapped John on the shoulder, "You are a hero."

John sighed, "I'm not a hero sir."

"All evidence to the contrary."

"You haven't seen all the evidence sir."

"I've seen enough." Robert took his seat again, "And that's enough for me until someone shows me otherwise."

John didn't answer, choosing instead to answer the whistle of the kettle. All he could say to himself as he walked away was, "I hope no one ever does."

But he knew someone would. Someone always would.


	4. Chapter 4

Anna looked up from the calculations in the ledger as Tom burst through the office door. "Ms. Smith did you hear?"

"Your knock? No, I did not hear you knock." She waited as he went out of her office, almost closed the door, rapped it with his knuckles and entered the office before she could respond. She threw up her hands, "Yes Mr. Branson, how can I help you this fine morning?"

"The boss got himself caught in the storm last night and wrecked his _American Beauty_ on the cliffs."

"What?" Anna stood up so fast she almost sent the ledger and the papers sailing. Only the quick hands of Tom saved it. "Is he alright?"

"Sybil said he's fine." Anna raised an eyebrow and Tom backtracked, coughing, "I mean, Ms. Sybil says he's fine. Arrived home late last night with a nasty head cold and some bruises but otherwise fit as ever. Barrow took ill but they say he'll mend just fine."

"What happened?"

"Syb- I mean, Ms. Sybil said he was out sailing last night, took Thomas with him, and they thought they could outrun the storm themselves. Lost control of the boat and dashed it on the rocks. Luckily some bloke in a dinghy rowed out to save them and got them before they went down in the storm."

"Some bloke in a dinghy?" Anna nodded slowly, "Someone had the strength to row in that storm to rescue a boat?"

"They said it was the lighthouse man or some such." Tom shrugged, "Just thought you should know… if you didn't already."

"I didn't," Anna sat back down slowly, "Thank you Mr. Branson for telling me."

Tom smiled, grabbing the door and carefully closing it. He waved once outside the window before taking the stairs back down to the production floor and out to the docks.

Anna tapped her pencil on the ledger, the calculations that moments ago were of such great importance now so far from her mind she'd have to start all over. She sat back in her chair, dropping the pencil in the crease of the ledger and interlacing her fingers, only to release them a second later before repeating the process.

A moment later she was up, grabbing her coat and locking her office before hurrying down the steps to the production floor. A few of the workers called out to her and she waved at them before reaching her assistant manager. The woman was shouting in her thick northern accent across the floor to some new boy about to lose a whole tray of fish.

"That's out of your wages if you drop those. Someone help the poor soul." She sighed and almost jumped as Anna tapped her on the shoulder. "Anna, you gave me a fright."

"Sorry Gwen," Anna took a moment to breathe, "I need you to manage for awhile. Something's come up and I need to run and check on it. Are you alright?"

"Of course." Gwen lowered her voice, though almost unnecessary in the din of the production lines, "Is this about Mr. Crawley almost losing his life to the rocks just under the light?"

"It's related." Anna eased around the question, "I should be back by second shift but if I'm not then just close out and leave it for me later."

"Are you sure? They say O'Brien might come by and I don't want her sniffing around if I haven't got an excuse for why you're missing."

"Tell her an emergency came up and leave it at that. The less she knows the more she'll have to pry later. It'll give her something to do." Anna pointed to the door, stepping backward, "I'm off."

"Alright. But as long as you know where you're going then it's all the same to me." Gwen waved her off, turning back to the lines to throw up her arms in exasperation, "Didn't anyone train this lad on how to carry fish?"

Anna held the tins a bit precariously as one hand clutches the straps on the bag with Mrs. Patmore's finest and the other tried to balance the uneven cartons she'd raided from her own cupboard. Using her one hand, and praying for everything to stay as it was, she pulled the handle for the bell and then stepped back. In that moment she held her breath as the tins settled back into her arms and almost missed the door opening.

And there he stood. Wrapped in an oversized blanket, dressing gown, and slippers he looked a right state. She smiled at his confused face and nodded toward the door.

"Might I explain inside?"

He only took a moment more before he hurried to step back from the door, allowing her to enter. She just made the table before the tins rolled everywhere. She saved all but one, her arms too short to stop it falling over the table edge but he caught it and held it up to his gaze for investigation.

"It would seem you prefer your teas from a little further afield than I imagined."

"Victim of the shipping industry I'm afraid." She smoothed some of her loose hair behind her ear as he placed the tea tin on the table and wrapped the blanket around himself before taking a seat. "I thought you could use a little variety and since I never drink it at home."

"Don't like tea at home?"

"Never at home to drink it really." Anna shrugged, "Home for me is a place to rest your head and not much more than that."

"That's a shame." He shifted under the blanket and she watched his eyes crinkle just slightly with his smirk, "My mother always said home is the best place for the best things."

"Well a mother would say that wouldn't she?" Anna collected the tins and took them to his almost empty cupboards, "They have children to share a home with."

"My mother wasn't always happy to share it with me." John laughed a little and Anna risked a look over at him while filling the kettle. "I was a right terror sometimes."

"So my mother always said about boys and why she was grateful everyday she never had any." Anna put the kettle on and returned to the table, pulling the food free and setting it before John.

"Just two little angels for your mother then?"

Anna stopped, blushing a little before answering, "No. Not all the time."

"Don't tell me you looked a picture but were really quite mischievous under it all." John clicked his tongue against his teeth, "You naughty girl your mother was making a comparison saying life could've been much worse."

"I pretend to be nothing more than what I am." Anna dug through his drawers and cupboards, finding his sparse collection of silverware. "Though I think we have more in common than I might've guessed at first blush."

"In that neither of us seems to make a home for ourselves well?" John took the utensils from her but did not touch the food. "Though I feel you distracted me from the question I had at the door and I haven't asked it yet."

"Then ask now." Anna sat on the edge of her seat, an ear cocked for the kettle.

"What brings you, and all this," John pointed to the food and the kettle, "To my door?"

"I did say I wanted to share breakfast with you."

"This is more luncheon or teatime than breakfast Ms. Smith."

"You look as though you've only just risen so, as I said," Anna stood with the sound of the kettle, "I told you I wanted to share breakfast."

"Then this would have nothing to do with what happened to your employer last night?" John asked as Anna brought the kettle over, filling the tea pot before preparing the tea.

"I'll have you know Tom Branson told me what happened and you were my first stop." Anna set the cup in front of John, "I wanted to ensure you were alright."

"Because I don't have a valet or anyone to take care of me?" John looked up at Anna as she leaned over him, pouring the tea.

"Am I not allowed to be friendly and worried over my new friend who I know lives alone in this lovely but overly large lighthouse?" Anna poured into her own cup and stirred in the sugar before topping off with milk.

"As you said, you pretend to be nothing more than what you are I guess." John focused on his cup but Anna stopped, hers almost to her mouth.

"What do you mean?"

"Hm?" John looked over the top of his china and Anna set her cup in the saucer.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I tried to puzzle you out for myself last night and realized I can't really make you out at all."

"Is that a bad thing?" Anna felt her hackles rise slightly but John held up a hand, using the other to ensure his cup made it back to the table.

"No, not at all." John smiled but then seemed to have a thought, "Although-"

"Although?"

"It did prevent me from some reading I planned to do last night. But, had I been reading, I probably wouldn't have seen the ship and then you wouldn't be here now." John held up his hands as though surrendering the question, "So I guess if you were less intriguing there'd be no reason for this conversation."

Anna only just realized she was staring at him. Staring at this man, with the strength to row into a storm, rescue two men, and then get them back to shore. A man who took a job at a lighthouse for the express purpose of living in the quiet, alone. A man intrigued by her.

"Ms. Smith," John's voice finally broke through her thoughts, "I do believe you're staring."

"So I was." Anna stood, "But I would have you know that I also find you intriguing and though I cannot say you've distracted me as yet I wouldn't put it outside your considerable abilities."

John stood as well, both of them still standing with the table between them. "What will you do about it?"

"I'm not sure." She smiled and headed for the door, "I do know that Mrs. Patmore will ask you about the fare so if you don't eat it she'll be cross with you."

"Not with you, Ms. Smith?"

"She's knows why I bought it and where I brought it." Anna winked and opened the door, "Just remember, when you're feeling better, to drop me a line. Else I'll worry."

"Worry what, Ms. Smith?" John moved closer to the door and for a moment Anna felt like she was tempting fate not leaving immediately.

"Just that I may not be as intriguing to you now as I was. It'd do a girl some harm to think someone didn't fancy her."

"Do you think I fancy you?" He was practically on top of her. His towering height, though perhaps not so towering when compared to those of a stature more normal than her own, almost engulfed her but instead of terror she almost felt a thrill run down her spine.

"I'd like to think you do."

"Why?"

"Because then I'd know the man I fancy happens to fancy me back, Mr. Bates." She put a hand on his, "Remember to drink the tea and eat."

"Else you'll worry?"

"Else I'll worry."

For a fraction of an instance Anna wanted to reach up and kiss his cheek but propriety stopped her. She had to be going and for all she wanted to know about Mr. John Bates he was still a stranger to her. One did not go about kissing strangers.

But in that moment he leaned down and kissed her. If she hadn't felt hypersensitive she might've missed it but there it was. Just a brush really but it thrilled her to her fingertips.

"Well, we can't have that."

Anna could only giggle and then hurry away.

Oh she was in trouble now.


	5. Chapter 5

As Anna removed her coat, almost suffocated in the stifling heat of the production line, she saw the natty red head coming toward her, followed by the sleeker red of Gwen and groaned. She hurried to put on a happier face and held her coat in her arms.

"Ms. O'Brien, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"You've been out, Ms. Smith," O'Brien smiled at Anna but unlike the smile of John, which made her feel a rush, this one just gave her a queasy stomach. "Where'd you run in such a hurry?"

"I heard about the accident, on the rocks, and I wanted to personally thank the man who saved our employer. I do represent this fishery and I want to continue to generate the goodwill that saved Mr. Crawley this time in case we need it again."

"What a noble gesture."

"I do know a little about those." Anna bit back on her tongue, trying to keep her tone civil but O'Brien raised an eyebrow.

"Put your knives back in the drawer Ms. Sharp, this is no time for cheek."

"Ms. O'Brien, I missed less than two hours of work and Mrs. Harding was acting in my stead. More to the point," Anna pointed to the clock, "An hour of that was lunch so if you wish to notate that on your inspection report then make sure you have all your facts."

"How you balance your accounts or your time is your business, Ms. Smith," O'Brien smiled again and Anna felt the tea in her stomach sour. "What concerns me is the running of your fishery here."

"It's well managed." Anna stood taller, "As I'm sure your thorough and _accurate_ inspection will attest. As it did the three times you inspected us on short notice in the last six months."

They waited at an impasse and O'Brien's lip curled a bit. "And it passed, this time."

"We work so it will every time. Now, Ms. O'Brien, if you are finished then I'll have Mrs. Harrison escort you out."

"No need." O'Brien turned up her nose at Anna, "I know where the door is."

Gwen came to Anna's side and whispered in her ear, shuddering a bit as she did so, "I detest that woman."

"She's just twisted her knickers because there's no reason to shut our doors and give it all to the Flintshires." Anna motioned for Gwen to follow her, "You do know that's who wants the business."

"I never did like _Lady_ Flintshire. Always thought she was better because her family founded their fishery ten years before this one. Fat lot of good it did them when the Crawleys boomed around them." Gwen followed Anna into the office. "So why'd you leave in such a hurry? Was your house on fire?"

"No. What would give you that idea?"

"You ran out of the office like a bat out of hell. I thought perhaps Tom told you your house was on fire."

"He can't see my house from his route."

"You know he doesn't always run his route."

"I pretend not to. But no, Tom just told me about the accident." Anna put her coat back on the rack and organized the papers on her desk, "I needed to see if a friend was well."

"I thought you said you were thanking the bloke who saved Mr. Crawley."

"I was." Anna sat down and only happened to look up when Gwen didn't speak. "What?"

"Your friend is the man who saved Mr. Crawley last night?"

"Yes."

"But you don't know any men."

"That's harsh." Anna huffed, moving in her seat, "I know men."

"You know the men who work for you Anna. You know men you work for. You know men you berate at the pub when they've had one too many and make advances. Otherwise you don't meet people at the pub or even chat at a tavern with them. You don't even talk to men at church."

"Alright, I admit I don't know men socially but now I do." Anna went back to her calculations but could feel Gwen's eyes on her, "What?"

"What's he like?"

"How'd you mean?"

"You meet a man, you run out on your work to see him, and now you'll tell me nothing about the hero you like." Gwen looked positively gutted on the other side of the desk.

"Who says I like him?"

"It's all over your face Anna Smith."

"I-" Anna wanted so very badly to stick her tongue out but professionalism won out and she just tallied up her ledger and wrote in the sums, "I do fancy him and I'll have you know he happens to fancy me too."

"Huh, I guess never really liking men pays off." Gwen stood, "Not only do you find someone you like they also like you. What are the chances?"

"Better if you know what you want." Anna pointed with her pencil at Gwen, "How is your Mr. Harding?"

"He's meeting in Liverpool for two days at a conference for women's education. He thinks it'll help unify the investors if he can show them the progress of his institution is on par with others in the country."

"And is it?"

"I think it outstrips them all but it never hurts to be aware of what everyone else is doing. You never know when you may need to work with them later."

"As my mother always said," Anna marked the page and closed the ledger, working it back onto the shelf, "Never make an enemy by accident or burn a bridge."

"Exactly." Gwen went to the door, "I'll just make sure line two is all finished and then tidy up for the day."

"Thank you Gwen." Anna called to her as the redhead closed the door, leaving Anna alone in her office.

She worked through the rest of the documents on her desk, filing away the orders, the haul of the day, and the expenses just as the horn sounded. It always made her jump a little, even when she anticipated it. On those days it was worse.

Sighing, and stretching out her back, she tidied her desk before leaving herself a note for the next morning. As she walked out of her office, locking the door behind her, she heard a familiarly dismissive voice.

"If she is still here then I will know when I see for myself, won't I?"

Anna smiled as a brunette woman with a superior attitude and a defined stomach trundled her way up the stairs toward Anna's office, followed by a nearly hen-pecked blonde man.

"Mary I really think-"

"No one asked you to think Matthew." She saw Anna and brightened, "And here she is. I told you it wasn't a wasted trip."

"Mary I said we could wait for her near the door since she's obviously leaving anyway." Matthew, frazzled and holding a hat that appeared a little the worse for wear giving how he must scrunch it in his hands, looked to Anna. "Surely we can schedule a better time to bother you."

"It's no bother. I'm always on hand to help the Crawleys. That's the job." Anna turned to Mary, "You needed something in particular?"

"To speak with you." Mary waited and Anna took a second before she pulled her keys out and unlocked her office. "Thank you."

Anna stepped out of the way, avoiding contact with the pregnant woman and followed her into the office. Mary took Anna's padded seat and sunk down with a sigh before waving Matthew out of the room. "This is a conversation for women, Matthew. I ask for some privacy."

"I'm your husband, Mary, there's nothing you have to tell Ms. Smith that I can't-" Mary glared at him across the room and Matthew turned on his heel for the door, muttering as he left, "I don't know why I even bother."

When the door closed, banging a little with the force Matthew used to jerk it in his direction, Mary leaned back in the chair. "We need to discuss the business."

"I thought this was something-"

"No," Mary waved a hand, "Matthew's too busy with his job as a solicitor to care about the company and with Edith being as useless as ever-"

"I thought she ran a magazine?"

"Whatever it is she does that keeps her away from home all the time it's not as important as this family." Mary struggled to lean forward, putting a hand on her stomach and Anna went to help her but Mary brushed her off. "I'm pregnant, not infirm."

"No one could ever say that about you."

"Thank you." Mary pointed to the building around them. "Just as this is not going to fail."

"All the accounts agree with you." Anna lowered her voice, though there was no one to hear, "Why are you worried about the business?"

"Ever since I told my father I'm pregnant he's been rash about everything. He claims he's not old enough to be a grandfather. Last night's almost tragedy was just the escalation of his antics. I worry he'll propose something rash with the company and we'll lose everything on a bad investment." Mary shook her head, "I love my father but I also know he doesn't always think clearly when his emotions are involved."

"Unlike yourself who always thinks clearly?"

Mary narrowed her eyes, "I know a dig when I hear it, Anna Smith but I do acknowledge I've acted rashly on occasion."

"On occasion?" Anna opened her mouth to say something, immediately disregarding at least four different ways to continue her sentence before proceeding, "Mary you gave me this job as a thank you for helping you disguise the real location of that delegate's death."

"The doctors found evidence that his heart was weak to begin with so I feel no guilt in having moved him from the state room on the yacht back to his room." Mary crossed her legs in the chair, a feat that impressed Anna given the size of Mary's stomach, "Just because he had the indignity to die before anything could happen shouldn't reflect poorly on me."

"Because your father being angry you took the yacht, that you invited guests on to it without his permission, and decided three days at sea was better than finishing your studies were not enough black marks on your record?"

"You've gotten far cheekier since you took over this job." Mary pursed her lips, "I'm not sure I like it."

"Then what I would like to know is what you're proposing to do? Your father is alive, and in good health from all accounts, so justifying taking over his business due to any physical reasons hold no water. Further, to question his mental capacity will do the whole company harm."

"I'm not accusing my father of being frail of body or mind. Just in need of time away from this business. A holiday of sorts."

"And you'll arrange that?"

"Edith wants them to visit her in London and they keep meaning to go but finding excuses not to." Mary took a deep breath, "If he happened to return and find his business running far more smoothly than before perhaps he'd be willing to step back a little."

Anna chewed on the inside of her cheek as she thought it over. "You'd have to get the other fisheries to agree. I'm not staging a coup."

"Of course not."

"And you'll have to get the captains themselves to help you. If it were up to me you need myself, Tom Branson, and Mr. Talbot if you really want to make a go of showing your father what you can do."

"Branson is easy. I'll just arrange it so he and Sybil can have so uninterrupted time together and he'll owe me forever. Talbot on the other hand…" Mary tapped at the desk, "Which one is he again?"

"He's the production floor manager here. All the workers trust him and he keeps the operation running smoothly. Do it without him or Tom and there's no hope for you."

"But you'll help me?" Mary reached forward and took Anna's hand, "I can't do this without your help most of all."

Anna nodded, "I'll help you but only because I don't want you to lose your father to something as foolish as the fear of old age."

"Good." Mary stood, Anna giving her an arm, "Then I'll come by tomorrow with my plans."


	6. Chapter 6

Anna glared at the order form as someone entered her office. She sighed and looked up to see Tom, looking sheepish as he left, knocked on the door, and entered again. "Can I help you Mr. Branson?"

"I need help finding something I may have lost."

"Your dignity?"

"No, that was yesterday." Tom sat on the edge of his seat and lowered his voice as he leaned over the desk toward Anna, "I lost the necklace I was going to give Sybil… Ms. Sybil."

"Not on one of my production lines?" Anna narrowed her eyes but Tom was quick to backtrack.

"No. No, of course not." He bit the side of his lip. "I think I lost it on the _Silver Dream_."

"Mr. Branson why would you have a gift for Ms. Sybil on the boat you are no longer captain of?" Anna waited but Tom could only shift his gaze from the floor to the wall to the ceiling to anywhere but her face. "Did you use one of my boats to take Ms. Sybil on a little pleasure cruise?"

"I might've done."

"And you know that Ms. O'Brien is inspecting that boat right now?"

"I do." Tom blanched a little, "Or she will be in the next ten minutes."

"I assume you're asking me for help on this." Anna stood, "Seeing that she was only here yesterday I think I can find a way to distract her with another vessel while you make sure there's no trace of whatever impropriety went on while you took out my boat for your romantic exploits."

"No impropriety I assure you. I was the perfect gentleman." Tom stood out of the way as Anna grabbed her coat and went out the door. "I just need to avoid any awkward questions it might bring up when Mr. Crawley gets ahold of the inspection report."

"Mm-hm." Anna scowled a little at Tom as she scanned the list of boats for inspection. "You get to the _Silver Dream_ and make it shining."

"Will do Ms. Smith. As you command." Tom was off at a run before Anna called after him.

"Tom, I mean it," She warned as he turned from his sprint, "Done and dusted in no less than ten minutes."

He saluted her as Anna walked to the docks and noticed O'Brien at loggerheads with a tall, lanky man keeping cool under her growing agitation. Anna approached with caution and waved a little to the two of them. "Is there a problem here Ms. O'Brien?"

"Your Mr. Talbot here claims that my report following the inspection of his lines is unjust."

"I merely wanted to illustrate to Ms. O'Brien that her recommendations are almost impossible and my man handling the repairs would have to work overtime to get it all to the above-standard goals she set for us." Talbot kept his voice even, the cadence rather soothing and incredibly calm for someone on the edge of a row with Ms. O'Brien.

"And which man is handling your machines, Mr. Talbot?" Anna interjected, pulling her coat a little more tightly around her as the wind picked up for a moment. She caught sight of Tom out of the corner of her eye moving champagne glasses and at least two empty bottles off the boat. She closed her eyes with a sigh then forced herself to smile as she listened to the back end of Talbot's answer.

"- Mr. Laing says it'll be at least a week and the season's not going to wait for us. Nor is the competition."

"Your production problems are none of my business. My business is making sure the people eating what you produce aren't doing so under false pretenses." O'Brien sniffed, "If you want your mechanic to speak to me about his complaints then you should send him to me. Surely the man can fight his own battles."

"If you like I'll take you right there." Talbot stepped to the side and motioned for O'Brien to proceed him.

O'Brien looked at her notes, "I may not have time. I have to finish my ship inspections and there are two more on-"

"It won't take a moment." Talbot assured her, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder to guide her back toward the building. "And it saves us the chance of having this conversation all over again if I'm still acting as middleman."

Anna smiled to herself, watching the seamless way Talbot managed O'Brien and was tempted to have him handle her from now on. She pivoted and saw Tom jogging toward her, the evidence of his unauthorized boat usage safely stowed somewhere she couldn't see. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"You do realize that technically you're in violation with that? Added to some of your other infractions I could have grounds to dismiss you."

"I'm aware. Though, if it would help my case, I will say that since the activities were done with the daughter of the owner then perhaps it was not the infraction you think it is."

"Secretly meeting with Sybil Crawley on her father's boats is indeed what I think it is. However," Anna shivered, "Ms. Mary Crawley wants a meeting with me in an hour. It'll lose you your lunch break but it's important that you attend as well."

"What would Ms. Crawley want with me?"

"She'll tell you all the details." Anna stopped, holding up a finger, "Given that Mr. Talbot was more than surely helping you distract Ms. O'Brien, tell him that I need him at the meeting as well."

"Yes Ms. Smith." Tom cracked a grin to engulf his whole face and Anna almost gave one back.

"Don't be late for this."

"Won't."

Anna stilled her pencil for the first time in twenty minutes as Mary finished talking. Her eyes were bright, her husband looked a little petrified beside her, Talbot was busy jotting something down on his small pad, and Tom's brow was furrowed.

"Well? What do you think?"

"If it's an open invitation for thoughts I'd like to say I think it's mad but I like it." Talbot held a hand out toward Matthew, "Begging any potential insult to you Mr. Crawley but if a woman ever described to me what she just did with the passion she did I'd marry her on the spot."

"Then you'll help?" Mary focused on Talbot as the lanky man nodded.

"I don't see any reason why it shouldn't work. If we do have to make the adjustments O'Brien included in her report then Mr. Laing will already be in a position to refit the lines. It would be simple to adapt the system after that."

"What about the other fisheries? Would it be as easy for them?"

"I know the two just north of us are using the same line style we are. If I send Laing up he could tell them what to change and be back in a day. The one south of here I don't know." Talbot consulted his notes, "Even so, with the three fisheries to the north pulling in almost twice the normal haul in those conditions the slow alterations in the other fisheries wouldn't cripple production."

"What about you Tom?" Matthew drew everyone's attention to the Irishman holding his jaw in his hand, "What do you say?"

"I think it'll take a little more bravery from the captains. I knew a few of the younger ones willing to risk the conditions but the older sea dogs won't. They value their bones too much."

"Then we get younger captains." Mary almost dismissed the comment but Anna stopped her.

"No, we need their experience. They teach our ship's boys and without them we're dead in the water before your plan even has a chance." Anna caught Tom's attention, "How many of the younger fishermen would risk it?"

"The glory hogs, and I know a handful of them, would do it in a heartbeat but I wouldn't send more than three or four of them. They'll just try to compete and that'll cost them the focus they need in those waters. I'd say," Tom looked to the ceiling, calculating something in his head, "I could guarantee a rotation of ten, maybe twelve."

"Is that enough to do what we want?" Mary held her hands together and Anna noticed the way they flexed and gripped one another until the already pale skin whitened to bone.

"Running in shifts, like you're saying, would be more than adequate. In fact it's a better system than what we have now." Tom took a breath, "The problem with now is two-fold. The long shifts and all the boats out at once. We clog the lines, we clog the lanes, and we don't get as much done. Streamlining it'll get you the respect of the sailors and their gratitude."

"I just need a better-run facility." Mary nodded at the group, "Alright. End of day tomorrow I'll bring your assignments by and then you can start your people on them as soon as possible."

Anna caught Talbot and Tom's attention. "I'm thinking we could start next week."

"Laing should be done refitting our lines by then so my production lines should be a go." Talbot made a note, "I'll start working my men into shifts based on their schedules and hand them out so anyone with problems can see me before weekend."

"I'll talk to the captains tonight. We're meeting for drinks anyway and I'll see who wants first crack at these night shifts."

"All settled then." Mary was beaming and Matthew, though still appearing slightly nervous, put a hand to his wife's back. "I just want you all to know how grateful I am for your help and for your service to this company."

"Our pleasure." Anna glanced at the clock, "But you'll have to leave before they come back or someone'll know something's up."

"Right. Mary," Matthew gestured to the door and the two of them left. Anna waited for them to leave the building before ushering Tom out next. When Talbot went to leave she put a hand on his arm to stop him.

"Did Tom ask you to distract O'Brien earlier?"

"He may've mentioned his attempts to woo a young lady could go badly if it were discovered." Talbot shrugged, "I only asked enough to engage in a bit of my own romantic matchmaking."

"I never took you for a romantic Mr. Talbot."

"Henry, please." Talbot smirked, "And only when the situation calls for it."

"Such as when?"

"When a very quiet man with few admirers meets a woman who otherwise is kind to no one and can't quite summon his courage to ask her to fish and chips." Talbot snorted, "It would be criminal for me to not make a step in the direction to aid that situation."

"I see." Anna heard the men start to come in, "And did he ask her to fish and chips?"

"Ms. Smith, if I didn't know better I might suspect you want in on this conspiracy."

"I wouldn't say no to a chance at shaving some of the prickles off O'Brien's exterior." Anna rolled her shoulders, "If that makes me a co-conspirator then you need only ask and I'll be ready to help."

"I'll keep that in mind Ms. Smith." Talbot went to leave but stopped himself, "If Laing has to go to the other fisheries then maybe you could tell me when Ms. O'Brien plans to visit them as well. Better coordinate our efforts as it were."

"She'll be at the Bonneville fishery on Tuesday."

"Perfect. I'll send Laing that day. Ms. Smith," Talbot winked and descended the stairs as Anna closed the door to her office.

She had a lot of work to do.

Anna rubbed her eyes and finally put her pencil down. Talbot had been true to his word and rushed a list to her before final bell and Tom already had a few names. She'd spent the last few hours working over the schedules, making preliminary rotations and possible combinations to keep known troublemakers away from one another, good workers dispersed throughout the shifts, and the new employees smattered in sufficiently with the old.

A bell rang and she jumped in her chair, only just realizing it was the starting bell for the day. She sighed, gathering her things, and went for the door as Gwen opened it. Gwen inspected the room and looked Anna up and down before speaking.

"Have you been here all night?"

"If I had?"

"I'd exert the little authority I do have and tell you to go home and sleep. You can't run this today like that."

"I was so hoping you might say that." Anna nodded toward the papers on her desk, "Please get those copies to Mr. Branson and Mr. Talbot so they have time to distribute them to their people before lunch."

Gwen leaned over the papers and narrowed her eyes, "Are we working all-day shifts now?"

"I'll explain when I see you tomorrow." Anna felt her whole body just ache, "right now if I don't find a horizontal surface I'll just make do against a wall."

Gwen waved her out and Anna left the building. She waved to a few of the workers who called out to her, pointed anyone with questions to her office, and tried to move like a salmon through the flow of workers going into the building.

The roads, the farther away from the docks she went, grew quieter as children were already in school, mothers were already home, and fathers were already at work. In this low morning light Anna breathed deeply, feeling the comfort of a morning not rushed by a need to put out fires before nine o' clock. Instead she could walk at her own pace, listen to the sound of the ocean, and think about anything but work.

In fact, she was so absorbed in thinking about nothing at all she walked right into another person. She stumbled slightly, caught off guard, but the other person put a strong hand to her elbow and kept her upright. As Anna took in her kind victim her breath caught in her throat.

"Mr. Bates."

"Ms. Smith." His hand loosened slightly but did not release. She wasn't sure she wanted it to. "What's got your heads so far in the clouds?"

"Exhaustion." Anna smiled, "And I thought you'd still be recovering."

"A day in bed with your selection of tea was just what I needed. I feel invigorated." He leaned closer to her, "I do admit to feeling a little guilty."

"About?"

"I didn't ask you to stay and share the meal you so kindly provided for me."

"There are other times for that." Anna felt heat rise in her cheeks and tried to hide the smile that just didn't seem to vanish in his presence, "I did hope it would inspire you to ask for another opportunity to do so but since you were unwell I thought that'd be a poor time to impose. More to the point, I only brought food for one."

"Still a shame." He risked a peek around her to take in the street, "Given our rather solitary conditions might I make the offer of escorting you home?"

"Do you think I need the escort Mr. Bates?" Anna really hoped he did.

"If it's not too impolite, or impertinent, then me telling you that I genuinely fear you could collapse into a gutter in your state justifies my desire to take you safely home."

"I was never really fond of gutters." Anna pointed, "It's just that way."

John offered her his left arm, finally releasing the arm he'd kept such a hold on before, but put his right hand over hers in the crook of his elbow. "Have much experience with gutters?"

"Just those who crawl out of them." Anna felt the bile rise in her throat and tried to shake it away. She noticed John staring at her from the corner of his eye. "Yes Mr. Bates?"

"Again, risking impertinence because we haven't known one another long for me to have any reason to ask this of you, but what kind of people have you met from gutters?"

"The usual." Anna tried to shrug it off but John seemed far too attentive for that. "The kind of bloke who tries to chat you up in a pub by saying his house is nearby and the like."

"I've met them. Served with more than my fair share of gutter dwellers in the Navy." John clutched her hand a little tighter for a moment, "But I don't think that's who you meant."

Anna took a deep breath, "It's not."

"You don't have to tell me if you-"

"No," Anna stared straight ahead, taking a risk in the moment on her resolve, "I need to finally tell someone and though you're right, we haven't known one another long, I feel I can tell you."

"I promise I've no one else to tell." John lowered his voice dramatically, "I'm silent as the grave."

"When I was younger," Anna pulled John's arm slightly to take the path off the main road toward the cliffs, "My mother and father lived with us near Scarborough, my sister and I. I was the oldest and so when my father was killed in an accident I stepped up to take on more of the responsibilities at the house while my mother went out and worked."

John didn't say anything, just held her hand and walked in stride with her. Anna smiled, "My father loved books. He loved reading whatever he could get his hands on and then sharing it with us. He read us things I don't think we even understood but he thought it was so necessary to read he didn't care."

"He sounds like a wise man."

"He was." Anna took a breath to steady herself, "But when he died my mother was about at her wits end. She couldn't find a steady enough job and with us so close to destitute she knew she needed someone else. Someone with a job who could help put food on the table or we'd all starve."

"What did she do?"

"My mother knew a man in the village. When she'd been married he'd made advances on her. At the time she'd spurned him but it didn't deter him, only made him more determined. When my father died he'd told her he'd take her, support her in exchange for the wifely duties. She realized that he was her best option because no one else would take a widow with two other mouths to feed."

"Anna?" She looked up at John's face as he stopped them, there on the cliffs, "If you don't want to continue I'll understand."

"No," Anna put her hand over his, "I want you to know."

He only nodded and she continued. "It didn't start immediately but I saw his looks. I saw the way he eyed my sister and men. I knew what those looks meant and I knew my sister was too young to understand. I managed the house so I took to slipping one of the knives into my pockets before bed, to protect my sister… and me if it came to it."

"And did it?"

"He was drunk. I could smell it on him when he came into the room. He tried to touch my sister but I warned him off with the knife. He thought it was funny and grabbed at me. But he couldn't focus and I stabbed him in the leg."

John raised his eyebrows and Anna rushed the end of the story, afraid she'd scared off the only man who'd ever had an enlightened conversation with her… or kissed her when she wanted it.

"He screamed blue murder but he was fine. My mother soothed him enough to get him to the doctor. Then I packed my things and took my sister with me. We left that night and never looked back." Anna pointed to the solitary house on the cliff. "We came here with the little money I saved and boarded in that cottage until she moved to London to train as a dressmaker."

"And you stayed here."

"I didn't want to leave." Anna sighed, "I'll probably die in that cottage."

"What made you want to stay here?" John looked around, "It's got a certain beauty to it but not enough to keep someone for the rest of their lives."

"The lighthouse." Anna pointed up the cliff and John maneuvered to see for himself. "The first night we stayed I couldn't sleep because of a horrible storm and I went to the window, hoping it would help. Then I saw the light in the lighthouse. It was like one near my home, where my father took me as a girl, and he said that the lost are always found by the light. The light passed over the cottage and in that moment I felt I was found."

Anna blushed again, this time not from the grip John had on her hand. "It's a foolish thing but it's what kept me here and-"

"It's not." John's voice was soft and Anna stopped. John faced her, removing her hand from the crook of his elbow so he could dwarf both of her hands in his much larger ones. "It's not foolish. I felt the same thing when I came here. This is a place for the lost to feel found again."

Anna smiled then, feeling the tears prick her eyes as John stared at her hands. He didn't speak, didn't have to really. Instead he stroked over the backs of her hands with his thumbs and leaned forward. For a moment their eyes met and Anna didn't want to move in case she spooked him and spoiled the moment.

He leaned forward more, their faces only a breath apart, and waited. Anna felt confusion for only a moment before she realized he was leaving her a chance to respond. She moved the last bit forward and their lips met.

Unlike his lips on her cheek two days ago, or his firm but soothing grip on her hands in this moment, the feel of his lips on hers was quite possibly the best feeling in the world. That comfortable pressure, the balance between two people, and the energy synergistically moving between them was as heavenly as one could get on earth. If it weren't for the cold or her job or her exhaustion, Anna would've opted to stay there forever. With her eyes closed all she could do was feel him and that was more than enough for her forever.

Alas, reason ruled passion and John ended the kiss. He stepped back enough to meet her eyes. "I do hope I didn't overstep the mark."

"On the contrary," Anna giggled, "I rather enjoyed that."

"I did too." John leaned forward again but didn't kiss her… much to Anna's chagrin. "I'd like to continue to enjoy such an activity with you on another occasion if you'd be wiling."

"Are you trying to seduce me Mr. Bates?" Anna mocked shock, grinning about as broadly as he was.

"To be completely transparent with you Ms. Smith, I'd consider it my greatest pleasure to successfully seduce you."

Anna's breath caught in her throat and she had to force herself to breathe. "I don't think I'd refuse."

"Then I shall put forth all the effort I can into making such a situation possible." John kissed both of her hands, leaned forward and put another kiss on her cheek. This one didn't affect her quite so much as the last time he performed the action because now she had something better to compare it to. "I'll let you rest now."

"Thank you, for walking me home."

"Your company is always my pleasure, Ms. Smith." John went to leave but Anna pulled on his hand.

He faced her and she gathered enough nerve to kiss him herself. She used her free hand to hold the back of his head still. Her actions shocked him enough that she held control for all of a moment before he put his hands on either side of her face. But he didn't take control from her or even hold tightly. His hands, rough from work, were as gentle as someone holding a butterfly on their finger.

Anna didn't have much experience but she experimented moving her lips on his, tilting her head slightly, and enjoying the lingering sensation after she broke contact. John put two fingers to his lips and she wanted to kiss him again now that his eyes were a shade darker and he breathed a little harder.

"Now who is seducing whom Ms. Smith?"

"Perhaps we can equally seduce one another?"

John laughed, "That is something to which I wouldn't be disinclined."

Anna turned to her house, waving behind her, "Then I'm eagerly awaiting your invitation to continue this at a later date."

John only nodded, going back up the road with a slight hitch in his gait Anna didn't notice when she walked with him. Possibly because it kept his longer legs from striding to outpace her shorter ones. That was a reason to be grateful for whatever injury gave him the leg it did, it meant they could walk easily in step.

Anna changed only enough to fall into bed, the adrenaline rush from being with John wearing off as the full force of her exhaustion kicked in. The moment her head hit the pillow she was asleep.

It wasn't until hours later she heard a knock at her door. She lifted her head, feeling stuffed in her head and her eyes not focusing clearly with as bleary as they were. But she stumbled to her dressing gown, tying it over herself as she took a blanket from the back of her settee to stop from shivering, and listened for whatever woke her.

Something knocked again and she walked carefully to the door, "Who is it?"

"It's me. I have something for you." John's voice echoed into her house and if not for her post-sleep-confused state she would've been filled with much more joy.

Anna looked to the window, "It's late. Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I will as soon as I give this to you."

Anna unlocked the door and pulled it open to see John standing there, holding a tray. She felt her mouth fall open as she stared at it, and then him.

"What?"

"Shh." John gestured with the tray, "Take it."

Anna worked it into her grip, smiling at him. "Thank you."

"My pleasure. Now eat it, get more rest, and then tell Mrs. Patmore tomorrow how much you enjoyed it. She'll ask if you ate it all."

Anna nodded, the grin permanently stuck to her face now, as John pulled the door closed. She stood there, listening to his footsteps working themselves away from the cottage. After a moment the tray felt a little heavy and she moved it to the kitchen table.

From her window she could see the lighthouse in the distance. She knew he wasn't there yet, still trudging his way back across the cliffs, but she sat like she had so many nights alone and watched it. Watched the comforting bulk of it standing solitary sentinel on the cliffs to keep all in the sea form harm. In that moment, she focused on who operated that lighthouse, who manned the light, who actually rescued the poor souls in the water. She fantasized to herself that now he knew where she lived he'd look from his perch so far up there and see her the way she saw him.

As Anna opened the cover of the tray and breathed in the aroma of home baked, and well-made, food she thought for a moment about the man in the lighthouse bringing light to her.


	7. Chapter 7

John opened the door and his face immediately fell. He stepped to the side, "Do come in Mr. Murray."

"Thank you John." The small, mustachioed man with a smart suit, stepped into the sitting room and allowed his head to revolve as he examined the area. "This is lovely home."

"It's functional." John pointed to the chairs and allowed Murray to choose his seat before sitting down himself. "May I ask what brings you here Mr. Murray?"

"Ah, yes, you see there've been some developments with the case."

John sighed, "I thought they found she killed herself."

"Oh, of course. No one's accusing you of murder." Murray tried to appear almost conversational about it all but the nervous man kept rubbing his hands as his mustache twitched. "No it's about the money."

John hung his head, rubbing a hand through his hair, "All that money was left to me by my mother."

"Yes but your wife's family demands a contribution for suffering."

"On their part or mine?" John stood, "Give them whatever they want. I have what I need here. The house is sold, give them half, and then tell them that's all."

"Mr. Bates I know this is difficult but-"

"Mr. Murray," John stopped the man, "I've suffered too much because of that woman to let it hang over my head any longer. Give them what they want if they agree to go away forever."

Mr. Murray nodded, "As you wish Mr. Bates. I'll keep you informed of any developments."

John watched Mr. Murray leave and almost slammed the door after it. It truly wasn't the poor man's fault that these people wouldn't leave him alone. The man was just doing his job. Didn't stop the frustration though as John banged his fist against the wall.

Another knock came to the door and John went to open it, shaking his hand out before massaging it a little. He pulled the latch and blinked when he was Robert Crawley, escorted by a beautiful woman and another gorgeous girl he assumed was their child based on how much she looked like the older woman. Stunned speechless it took John a moment before he opened the door wider, ushering them into his sitting room.

"I apologize, you rather surprised me."

"Surprised? That I'd want to come back and thank the man who rowed into the storm to rescue me?" Robert grabbed John's slightly sore hand in a firm grip and John gritted his teeth against the pain. "My wife Cora insisted we deliver this invitation personally."

"Invitation?"

"Yes," Cora stepped forward, taking John's now released hand into a much gentler, though no less firm, grip. "What you did for my husband, rowing into the jaws of hell itself, is beyond what anyone has ever done for this family."

"It was instinct ma'am, I assure you." John stood awkwardly a moment until the girl stepped forward.

"I want to thank you as well. If not for you I don't know what I would've done." She kissed John on the cheek and he reddened slightly at all the attention.

"Our daughter, Sybil. A very sensitive soul." Cora looked almost radiant as she pulled her daughter toward her.

"Do you only have one child?" John tried to steer the conversation away from himself and back on safer topics, like other people's lives.

"Just our youngest." Cora practically crooned and Robert leaned toward John.

"If you ever marry and have children, stay away from girls. They're sweet when they're young and then all drama and clothes. I've had three and here I am, a gray old man."

"Darling you were graying when we married." Cora put a hand on John's arm. "We don't want to waste too much more of your time so we came to invite you to a dinner party we're throwing tonight."

"I don't-"

"Nonsense," Robert took John's hand again and he could barely contain the wince. "We're going down to London for a few weeks, to visit our second daughter, and it's a celebration of life. A kind of gathering, if you will. Nothing outrageously fancy."

"You do have white tie dress Mr. Bates?" Sybil's softer voice was almost like a lifeline from the well-meaning but brusque attitude of her father.

"I think I could dig out a suit for the event." John took a breath, "I don't know where you live I'm afraid."

"We'll send someone with the motor. I wouldn't worry, once you're there you can't miss it." Robert pulled at his watch as John's large grandfather clock chimed. "Blimey is that the time? We best go or you'll miss Sybil's fitting and I'll be late for my meeting."

"You're right." Cora took John's hand again. "I do hope you'll come this evening. Even if only for the food. Mrs. Patmore is cooking for it and she's a marvelous expert."

"I've enjoyed her fare on a few occasions so I can attest to that." John walked them back to the door, still open from their brisk entrance. "And what time should I be ready?"

"Dear we could send Mosely back with the motor at seven. Give him enough time for drinks before dinner at eight." Cora adjusted the fur coat about her shoulders. "Is that enough time?"

"Yes, we'll send Mosely to you at seven." Robert gestured out the door and John saw a skinny man, about his age, standing still and holding his chin up as if he thought that was what chauffeurs did. "He's a good chap… a little on the nervous side so no sudden moves around him I think."

"I'll keep that in mind." John watched them walk to the car, returned their waves, and shut the door.

He massaged his hand again, scowling at the purplish tinge it was already taking on, and began up his stairs to search for his white tie.


	8. Chapter 8

John walked to the car, nodding to Mosely holding the door.

"Good evening Mr. Bates." Mosely stood stiffly, as if trying to stop his nose from running with the way he held his chin up, and John almost laughed in spite of himself.

"Good evening Mr. Mosely." John climbed in the rear and waited for Mosely to crank the engine before getting behind the wheel. "Been a chauffeur long?"

"About five years sir. I used to work as a butler in a small house but they moved to America and I couldn't bear to leave my father."

"Family's important."

"Do you have much family sir?"

"It's just John, no reason to be formal with me, and I did. My mother passed away right before I moved here."

"Sorry sir."

"It's-" John stopped himself, correcting this man might just be as useless as he might consider it impolite, "It's fine. She lived to a good age and we shared good memories together."

"Those are the ones you keep." Mosely focused on the road, allowing a larger truck to pass them on the lane. "No current family then?"

"Just me I'm afraid."

"Must be awful lonely in that lighthouse all by yourself. Wind whistling through the cracks and howling in the space."

"It's quiet and that's what I needed." John wanted to move the subject away from him again, "And you, have any family other than your father in the area?"

"No. I'm afraid I'm a bachelor."

"Nothing wrong with those." John shifted in his seat as he saw the house.

It was grand. Just from the windows there were over a hundred rooms. John blew out a puff of air, realizing he'd barely even stared at houses like these and now he'd be in one. What kind of people invited him, a lighthouse keeper, to their parties at a house that appeared to have survived more than a few wars. A house probably attributed to years of history and family lines that traced themselves- however truthfully- back to kings.

John gripped the seat, trying to keep his calm as the car pulled in front of the door. A footman stepped forward and opened it, standing back as John exited. He thanked the boy as Mosely stepped out of the motor, checking something with the engine.

It was at that moment John saw his salvation. Another car pulled behind theirs and a couple stepped out, the woman heavily pregnant, followed by a blonde-headed woman. John recognized her stature, her gait, and her smile as she saw him. Anna excused herself from the other two, seeming to argue about something, and walked toward him.

"My Mr. Bates I believe you do look a picture."

"It's not worth as many words as yours." He practically drank in the sight of her in the navy blue dress, "That is my favorite color."

"Because I'm wearing it or because it reminds you of the ocean?"

"Could we say both?" John grinned at her as someone behind them cleared their throat.

Both turned and Anna smiled, stepping away from John toward Mosely. She shook his hand and John felt two rising sensations inside him. One was jealousy, followed closely by a protective instinct, and the other was amusement. Mosely practically tripped over himself to kiss Anna's hand. They spoke quickly for a minute or two before the pregnant woman called back to them.

"It's warmer inside Anna and that's where dinner is. We're not serving you out here."

Anna gave her excuses to Mosely before taking John's arm and pulling him toward the door. John peeked over his shoulder at Mosely, looking a little downcast at the view of Anna on John's arm, and John held Anna's hand tighter. He liked the man, respected an honest laborer, but didn't want him talking with Anna. That would be his pleasure this evening.

"How do you know Mr. Mosely?" John lowered his voice as they approached the still bickering couple near the door.

"He's driven the Crawleys since I became manager at the fishery. I also see him at church on Sundays. I've known him since I moved to town." Anna stopped, pulling back to see John's face. "You're jealous."

"Even if I were, which I'm not Ms. Smith, I've got nothing to fear if you enter on my arm tonight." He winked at her and she huffed.

"I don't think-"

"Anna, finally, please tell Matthew that being pregnant doesn't mean I can't still have a life. I may appear a beached whale but I've still got legs of my own."

"I'll not have you draw Anna into this. It's an issue of pain Mary. Besides can't I be concerned about the safety and health of my future child?"

"Not without inconveniencing your wife." Mary narrowed her eyes at John, who she only just noticed. "Have we met?"

"I doubt it. I rarely leave the lighthouse."

"Oh golly," Mary extended a hand, "Then you're the chap I have to thank for saving my father from his own stupidity."

"I wouldn't call it-"

"Yes you can and you should." Mary sniffed, "Having grandchildren for men is like having children all over again but it's worse. They act like it's the end of the world if they get old."

"And women don't do all they can to avoid it?" Matthew muttered, "I remember how much you spent on creams last week to take away wrinkles that aren't even there."

Mary glared at him and stalked into the house. Matthew rolled his eyes, threw up his hands, and followed his wife. John glanced at Anna and saw her fruitlessly trying to hold in her laughter. They sniggered together at the door a moment before composing themselves to enter.

"Are they always like that?"

"Have been since I met them."

"You never told me how you met the family."

"Oh," Anna allowed the footman to remove her coat, "I worked in the production line while I attended school. Mary needed some help with figures and I volunteered one day when she was working in the office at the fishery. The Crawleys hired me as her tutors for a time and then realized I could work the books. I moved my way through the responsibilities to running the fishery."

"You must've really impressed them with what you could do."

"It's all tenacity and dedication. I do well because I pay close attention to detail." Anna leaned toward him as Robert and Cora approached, "Like how I could see you bristle when I spoke to Mr. Mosley."

John didn't get a chance to respond as Robert was already shaking is hand and Cora was kissing Anna's cheek. They hurried them into the sitting room for drinks and John politely refused one from a familiar looking man.

"Are you sure you don't want one sir?" The man insisted and John nodded.

"Not much of a drinker."

"Not anymore you mean." John was lost for words on response as the man walked away, offering a drink to Anna.

"Thank you Thomas," She took one and joined John, pointing to his hand. "You're not drinking?"

"Don't much care to drink." He stared the man across the room down, "Who is that?"

"Thomas?" Anna sipped at her drink, swallowing quickly to see where John pointed. "He's Mr. Crawley's valet and butler now that they work on a reduced staff. Not the most polite of people at the best of times but he's relatively harmless in my opinion."

"Maybe not so harmless." John muttered.

"Don't you recognize him?" Anna nudged John with her elbow, "You saved his life on Mr. Crawley's boat."

"There's something else."

"What?"

"He made a comment to me." John finally looked over and saw Anna's face. "It's nothing. Just a comment."

"It's something to you." She put a hand to his arm, "What is it?"

"It's nothing." He insisted, just stopping himself pulling at his collar as he eyed the exits.

"Surely you don't have any secrets Mr. Bates."

"Of course I do." He didn't look at her, preferring to scan the room. "Everyone does. It's the way of it."

"Then perhaps we should tell one another our secrets."

"And what good could that possibly do?" His answering tone was bitter, which he immediately regretted. He wanted to be as honest with her as she'd been to him the other day but spilling his secrets to her in someone else's sitting room seemed the poor location to do so.

"Because then we wouldn't be holding them alone. They'd stop poisoning our insides. Stop preventing us being who we really are or saying what we really mean. They'd allow us to be honest with one another."

"Does that mean you have more secrets to share with me Ms. Smith?"

"Of course I do." She smiled at him but it didn't reach her eyes the way she smiles to him normally did. This one barely left her lips. Like it did when she told him about her stepfather. "Everyone does."

He gave a half-hearted snort at her repetition of his statement. "Yes they do."

"I even told you one of mine." Her voice was low and John ached to be as free with her as she'd been with him. "Wouldn't you extend me the same curtsey?"

"You wouldn't want to know my secrets."

"What if I said I do?"

John felt the power of this diminutive woman next to him. The kindest of hearts, the shrewdest of minds, and the suffer-no-fools determination that made her the manager of a successful fishery. He didn't want to bring this woman into his troubles. She deserved far better than that.

"Then I would say you need to find someone else. Someone whose secrets are a little heavy than mine."

"Mr. Bates," She set her glass on the nearest solid, horizontal surface and took his free hand. She ensured he was staring right back into her eyes before she spoke again, "You are not the first man who's ever pursued me. One of them drove you here tonight."

"As if I needed reminding that there are-"

"Mr. Bates," She had an edge to her tone now, "You may not be the first man who's ever wanted me but you're the first man I've ever wanted. You can talk yourself blue in the face telling me there are other men out there as good as you are, or that they're better men than you are, but I'm here to tell you that as far as I'm concerned there are no better men and never will be."

"You don't mean that. You don't even know what you'd be getting into."

"I don't have to know." Anna stroked the back of John's hand and he felt his tenuous resolve weaken. "Whatever your secrets or pains or troubles or burdens they're nothing I wouldn't gladly bear with you… if you'll let me."

John, again, didn't get a chance to respond as a gong rung somewhere in the house and everyone else gathered near the doors. Anna pointed him forward and he followed her into the dining room. Thomas showed Anna to her seat and left John to find his right across from Anna, next to Cora, and next to Mary.

"Now that we've all gathered let's toast to the man we really have to thank for this occasion," Robert held up his glass and all did the same, John reaching for his water, "To Mr. John Bates, the lighthouse keeper who is more than he seems."

They all drank to him and John felt the heat rise in his face. His eyes found Anna's and she smiled encouraging at him but he could only twitch his lip upward. He noticed Robert taking stalk of the water in John's hand and wished he had something to say to stop the next question.

"Do you want another drink Mr. Bates?"

"No, thank you, I don't really drink." John put the drink down as Matthew made an affirmative sound.

"I've been trying to tell Mary the same thing. We don't need a drink with every meal."

"Maybe you don't." Mary said almost under her breath but Matthew caught it.

"I just think-"

"Oh Matthew," Mary rolled her eyes, "This evening is about Mr. Bates here and I'm sure he doesn't want to hear our argument about fine wines."

"I'm actually curious what drew a man such as yourself to our lighthouse." Core leaned toward him, "When the Carsons said they were retiring we thought the Council'd be over its head trying to fill the position."

"I was more than happy for the chance. I like the work and I like the quiet."

"Then we must be awfully terrible company by comparison." Mary laughed a little to herself and John felt himself lighten slightly.

"No, the company is wonderful."

"I think you mean Anna's company is wonderful." Anna's head shot up and John stiffened at the comment. Mary seemed a little occupied with her drink to notice what her comment caused. "You can't seem to separate yourself from her all evening."

"We were just catching up." Anna spoke before John could get any words to form coherent sentences, much less out of his mouth. "We met at the tavern about a week ago and then ran into one another in town the other day. He was kind enough to escort me home when I was feeling poorly."

"Are the hours too many for you at the fishery Anna?" Cora seemed to speak with genuine concern. "I've been telling Robert he should cut your hours back."

"No, I just was-" John caught the trapped look Anna had, and the one that passed from Mary to Anna.

"She was just being thorough, the way Anna always is." Mary spoke, trying to ease the moment but John saw how her knuckles tightened on her fork. "I think it's to be congratulated."

"But not at the risk of her health." Sybil spoke up from the end of the table. "I think the best thing we can all do is look to our health and happiness."

"Quite right." Robert agreed but John watched Mary roll her eyes. "How do you keep yourself happy all alone in that lighthouse then Mr. Bates? Surely climbing all those stairs can be a bother."

"It keeps me fit. Without a regime anymore sometimes it's difficult but I keep myself active."

"Regime. Were you in the service?" Sybil looked a little excited, "What was it like?"

"Boring and rather tiring but it teaches you a few things." John went for his water again as he heard a voice mutter.

"Like how to steal the silver."

Everyone stopped and Robert, with food halfway to his mouth, dropped the fork. "What was that Barrow?"

"Nothing Mr. Bates wasn't going to tell you himself I'm sure sir." John felt himself bristle as he saw the valet-butler smile with that self-satisfied expression like he'd just pulled the rug out from under someone.

"What's this?" Mary put down her glass and turned in her chair to face John.

"I'm not entirely sure what Thomas is talking about." John kept his breathing even, trying not to grind his teeth.

"About your prison time Mr. Bates. It's why you left the Navy isn't it? They had you for stealing the silver. You served three years."

John felt as if ice water ran through his veins as he finally recognized who Thomas was. In the rush of the rescue and getting a doctor to him he'd failed to see the young sailor discharged the same day he'd been. The sailor who'd looked positively gleeful when John collected his things and left the Navy behind. The sailor who probably didn't know how good John's hearing actually was or that he'd heard his dismissal on suspicion of lewd acts with a fellow sailor.

"Is that true?" Robert looked almost affronted that he's share the same country as a former inmate, much less the same dinner table. Matthew, to his credit appeared shocked, Mary looked almost excited at the drama, Sybil confused, Cora mortified, and Anna… she looked as though her heart broke for him. Not because he hadn't told her but because someone just shared his secret with a table full of strangers.

"Afraid it is." John put his utensils down.

"Surely there's more to it than that." Anna insisted, trying to break the ice that now covered the room. "No one steals without a reason."

"Unless they're just born bad."

"Shut up Barrow." Matthew snapped and John knew he liked this blonde, hen-pecked but not cowed man all the more. "You've already made the poor man feel awkward about a situation I'm sure he'd like very much to forget."

"I was just saying-"

"Yes well you've done enough saying haven't you?" Mary supported her husband, putting her napkin on the table, "I think you can start clearing this dishes or you can tell us how you even knew about it."

John felt the room shift out of Thomas's favor and watched the man's smile change to a grimace masking his embarrassment. "I heard about it."

"From whom? No one in town knows John but Anna apparently." Mary kept her cool, roasting the man with her tone.

"I-" Thomas seemed lost for words.

"We've met." John spoke and saw the terror fill Thomas's eyes. "On the day I received my discharge."

"You never said you were a Navy man." Robert seemed so confused by the turn of events at a dinner party he probably hoped would have its most dramatic moment be when they finally served German chocolate instead of Swiss.

"I served for a period. Wanted to be of use to my country."

"More like you wanted access to all the young male sailors." Mary said into her drink and John jumped a little at the clatter of utensils.

"Mary that is enough!" Cora's voice was low, almost shrill, and trying very hard not to break into a scold.

"I actually must be going as well." John stood, "I must get back to the duties at the lighthouse."

He nodded at the table, "Thank you for the company and the food. I'm overwhelmed by the kindness I've been shown here."

John saw Matthew's face, the small smile of solidarity without a way to actually help, Mary's almost dismissive nature about it all since the fun was sucked from it, Thomas's worry, Robert's confusion, Sybil's distress, Cora's near hysterics, and, again, Anna's broken heart. He left the room, thanked the footman for his coat, and left through the front door.


	9. Chapter 9

There was no car waiting for him. He was leaving hours earlier than people were supposed to leave fancy dinner parties so John just turned up the collar on his coat and shoved his hands in his pockets to walk home.

He hadn't gotten far when he heard the heaving breaths of someone running toward him. He turned to see Anna, still pulling an arm through a sleeve, hurrying to catch him. John stopped, wondering what possessed this woman to run after him on such a cold spring night.

"Are you mad?"

"Not enough to let you leave without asking for you to walk me home." Anna took a breath, "I was going to ask when we left the party but seeing as that opportunity passed us by I didn't want to leave it as it was."

"After all of that?"

"Thomas, for all his airs, is still a frightened boy with a secret everyone knows." Anna shook her head, "I wouldn't be surprise if he finally gets the sack for this."

"Finally?"

"He always does something devious and then wiggles his way out of it by having some kind of heroic moment. It's frustrating but I only see him when I come to parties here so I rarely see him." Anna put her arm through John's. "So?"

"So?"

"Will you walk me home?"

John sighed, nodding. "Of course Ms. Smith."

They walked in silence the whole way. The wind picked up and within sight of her cottage a light drizzle started. John didn't think much of it. He'd been out on deck in worse. He shielded Anna from it as much as possible but when they reached the front door he saw she looked a bit bedraggled.

Anna put her hand to the latch and John made to step away.

"In this?" She pointed with her thumb behind her toward the door, "You won't come inside and wait for it to stop?"

"In this kind of weather I need to man the light more carefully." John looked at the light, blinking in the distance from when he'd turned it on before he left.

"It's a drizzle. It won't be too horrible."

"Even so." John made to walk away but Anna let out a disapproving sigh. "What?"

"You're going to let what Thomas did effect you."

"He did nothing but tell the truth."

"Out of context, as always." Anna threw up a hand, "Thomas never says something without an agenda to it. However he said what he did he meant to hurt you."

"His words weren't false."

"But they're not the whole truth either." Anna seemed a little frustrated.

"Mr. Crawley will believe them."

"No, Mr. Crawley won't. Mr. Crawley will find out the truth because he knows Thomas better than I do. Robert Crawley knows that Thomas, for his pride or his vanity or because Robert talked about you too highly in mixed company, said something to hurt you. Whatever the reason for what Thomas said, he caught Robert off guard but Robert Crawley is a finer man than one who would immediately assume the worst of you. Especially after you saved his life."

"Maybe he shouldn't."

"And maybe you should stop punishing yourself for whatever you're raking yourself over the coals for." John looked up, mouth agape at Anna's tone. "I'm not an idiot. I know what self-flagellation looks like form experience. I also know that while we all have our crosses to bear you've been carrying a few too many for far too long."

"You don't know that."

"Only because you won't tell me." Anna crossed her arms over her chest. "What else is so horrible that if I knew it I'd think so differently of you I'd never speak to you again?"

"You would."

"You're not even going to give me a chance to choose for myself?"

John tried to say something but didn't really have words. He threw up his hands in defeat, "This is where it goes Anna."

She stopped and he realized he'd used her first name. He leaned forward, as if to give her a kiss but she pulled away. "Not unless you truly mean it. I won't take it from you if you mean it as a goodbye."

"What else could it mean?"

"That you want me as I want you."

"You can't want me. You wouldn't want me."

"All evidence to the contrary Mr. Bates." Anna shivered in the cold. "Tell me why I wouldn't want you and then you'll know. They you won't drag this out in your mind, like you drag whatever else torments you, thinking about the 'if onlys'."

"Alright." John felt cold from the rain, embarrassed from dinner, and angry that this woman challenged him. "I was discharged from the Navy because I confessed to stealing silver. I did it to protect my wife because I felt guilty for abandoning her and marrying her when I didn't love her."

"Then you're not a thief?"

"I stole ten years of that woman's life because I thought we were in love and when I knew we weren't I didn't have the courage to end it."

"Did you leave your wife to come here?" He could hear the trepidation in Anna's tone, the fear that she was chasing after a man who couldn't have her.

"She killed herself when I got out of prison and told her I wanted a divorce. She couldn't bear the thought I didn't need her, that I didn't want her, or that she'd have to work for herself." John hung his head, "And that is on my head too."

"You didn't kill her."

"I might as well have." John ran his hands through his hair, all these emotions he buried in the quiet loneliness rising up. "I didn't love her and I didn't have the courage to be honest with myself about it. My mother warned me against it, my friends at the time, and even my commanding officer. They all said it was a mistake and I ignored them."

"Just because you spent a long time making a mistake doesn't mean you have to keep suffering because of it." Anna stepped toward him and grabbed John's hand. "It's over. Let it go."

"I can't. This will always be my penance. I can't escape that life because I shouldn't. I don't deserve anything better than that."

"That's bollocks and you know it John Bates. If you had a middle name I'd use it on you." Anna shook her head, "I don't know why you're doing this to yourself but you deserve every happiness."

"No I don't. And that's why I don't deserve you. Why you should care about someone else."

"There's no one else."

"But-"

"No!" Anna grabbed his coat and forced him to face her. "I don't care what your life was before. I don't care if you were in prison or if your wife died or if for even a moment someone thought you actually killed her. I only care about the man I know now and that's a man I want to love more than life itself because I already love him more than my life."

John could only swallow, the rain numbing everything but where her hands touched him.

"After years of misery don't you deserve happiness if it's staring you in the face and wants you too?"

John moved his hands to her face. Instead of answering with words he pulled her closer to him and planted his lips on hers. For the first few seconds, both numbed by the cold, it was hard to feel anything but then she moved.

Her hands wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling him down to her as she slanted her mouth sideways, trying to kiss more of him. John could only hold on by moving one of his hands to her waist. She gasped a little in the kiss at that and stopped, breathing hard as he moved away.

"I think, Mr. Bates, if we want to continue this we should do so inside."

"Do you want to continue this Ms. Smith?"

She smiled at him. It wasn't full of sorrow or pity or even happiness. This was the smile of someone about to get exactly what they wanted. "I think I want this to continue more than I can express with ladylike words. But I'm not a lady and I don't pretend to be."

John stroked her cheek with the thumb of his hand still on her face. "You are to me and I've never known a finer one."

"I guess we'll see if you still think that in a short while." Anna pulled on his coat lapels, "But we'd better find out inside."

John would be a fool if he wanted to do anything but follow her.


	10. Chapter 10

Anna May Smith was not an overly bold person. Brave, yes. But even by her own estimation she'd never call herself bold. She never chased those things she wanted like this. She'd never chased anything the way she chased John. Chasing things with unrelenting passion was what people like Mary Crawley did. Not people like Anna Smith.

But in this moment, with John Bates standing just inside her doorway, still wearing his sopping coat, she knew she'd have to be the bold one.

And how surprisingly easy she found it.

Her hands were still cold from the rain and the evening air but they had enough strength to hold his face. She ran her palms over his cheeks, rough at the end of the day from the stubble, and shivered. In mixed company she'd say it was the cold. Here and now, it was him.

Her fingers crawled to the back of his neck, stroked there a moment before finding his collar. Her hands slid down the wet fabric, pulling at it when she reached his chest to peel it away from him. It stuck on his arms but they worked it off, John practically a spectator in this sport.

She hung it on the coat rack next to her door and felt hands come to her shoulders. She froze, basking in the sensation of his larger hands barely touching her as he pulled her coat off from behind. Again, she shivered as it left her arms free and this time was a little more due to the cold and a little less due to him. He reached around her, hanging her coat next to his on the rack before sliding his hands down her arms from behind.

If only she could live in that sensation. His hands gripped hers, holding them with just enough force to pull her towards him, and she went willingly. The open back of her dress met the wet front of his tuxedo and she arched away from him.

"What?"

His tone was worried and Anna felt his hands fall away from her. She'd lose him if she didn't act fast and so she did. Turning in his loosened grip she put her hands on either side of his face and pulled him toward her. Their still cold, and slightly numb, lips met and Anna knew, in that instance, she'd rather freeze to death than break this connection.

His kiss was perfect. He didn't press into her like the overeager, prepubescent boys at school had nor did he force her the way ambitious, cocky young men had when they thought the evening had gone better than it did. John was gentle but firm. He gave without surrender and took only what she pressed on him.

In the back of her mind, as Anna decided to run the tip of her tongue over his bottom lip, she wondered how much he'd enjoy what she'd give him. It didn't take her long to discover what John would accept when his mouth opened in partial surprise at her boldness and she dove right in.

His kiss _had been_ perfect but now, with his hand holding one side of her face and the other gripping at the small of her back to make sure they didn't move as she tasted all of him, this was perfection. His groan when she sucked on his tongue was almost enough to have her ripping at his clothes standing in her sitting room but even she could keep a leveler head than that.

Anna broke the kiss, giving a smirk to herself at his confused and tortured face, and pulled the hand from the small of her back. He went willingly, following her down the short hallway to her room after he left his shoes at the door with her probably ruined evening shoes. Their stocking-ed feet slid over her wooden floor a little and she giggled when he slid into her by accident.

He caught her about the waist, stopping them both from falling over, and pulled her towards the wall to catch her balance. In that moment their eyes met again and he dipped to kiss her. She clutched at his shoulders, reveling in the feel of his hands of her waist while his tongue worked her mouth.

One of her hands moved along the wall, turning the knob to her door and then pulling him into the space. They moved almost like dancers, he pivoting around her before bringing her around with him to stand in the middle of her room. Even with the cold neither of them wanted to stop to light a fire or even a candle. The drizzle outside didn't stop the occasional moonbeam passing close enough that they could see one another in silhouette. And it made the situation all the more romantic.

John broke away enough to stare at her, his hands shaking slightly on her shoulders. He took a deep breath, tried to speak, but had to clear his throat before he could actually say anything. "Anna I think-"

"What?" Her fingers moved to his tie and she worked it from its place, slipping the stiff collar loose around his neck and even unbuttoning his waistcoat before he took her hands in his. He pulled them to his mouth and kissed them, not breaking eye contact as he did so.

"Are you sure?"

"Never more than at this moment." She kissed his exposed knuckles, "Are you?"

"I'm sure that if we continue much further I could forever damage your reputation." Anna smiled at John's comment, "I'd hate for anyone to say anything about you if they knew I was here now, in your bedroom, thinking what I'm thinking right now."

"Then they'd have to think badly of both of us because I brought you here," She took his collar off and put it on the chair, "I invited you in," She slipped his tie off his neck, "And I've the same thoughts about you."

That was all it took. John went back to plundering her mouth and she worked his jacket and waistcoat off his shoulders in one move. She managed to get them on the chair before John had her backed against the wall again.

Anna had to close her eyes at the intensity of feeling as one of his hands moved down her side, catching her on the back of her thigh and lifting it. Her pressed himself forward and she felt his arousal at her stomach. She lifted herself on her other foot, trying to feel more of him, and he lifted her other leg. With both her legs wrapped about his waist she felt him where she needed him most.

He slipped a hand down enough to catch the end of her dress and lifted it slowly up her legs. The slide of the material rasped on her sensitive skin and she broke from the kiss to groan. John took the chance to kiss at her neck, sucking at the skin trailing toward her collarbone as his hands scrunched her dress at her waist. She could feel his warm hands there, branding her while she clutched at his neck.

He lifted his head as one hand ghosted over her knickers and she jumped at the contact. She held her breath as he ran one finger along the upper edge before meeting her eyes in the dark. "May I?"

Anna didn't trust herself to speak so all she could do was nod. He kissed her cheek as he slipped the fabric aside and slid his fingers lower. She held onto him, her legs weakening as her body shivered in time with his touch. He set her down on her feet, holding her steady with the press of his shoulders as he worked her knickers, and stockings down her legs. She tried to steady herself on the wall as he rolled them carefully, mindful of her balance with each article of clothing he removed.

He stayed down by her feet, kissing up one leg and then the other, moving the fabric of her dress as he did. Anna closed her eyes, leaned her head back against the wall to better lose herself in the patience of his touch. He reached her waist and stood, lifting her again, before kissing her so softly she thought she'd imagined it.

She opened her eyes to see him staring back at her and gasped when she felt one of his hands slip between her legs. Anna bit her lip as he hoisted her slightly higher and his hand stroked up with the motion. She buried her head in his shoulder as he teased, sliding through the wet heat she felt there, and pinched at her most heightened nerve bundle.

She couldn't stop it now. Her moans into the fabric of his shirt at his shoulder were almost the answering rhythm to the tempo he kept up at her core. A moment later, when she thought the pleasure would overwhelm her, he slipped a finger inside her and she cried out. Her fingers dug into his arm and neck while his fingers curled. When she panted he pulled out only to thrust back in with another finger as she took a deep breath.

Trembling in his arms she held fast to his shoulders, murmuring in his ear, "Please. Please John."

Had she been forced, at that moment, to say exactly what she was asking for she couldn't for the life of her explain it. But a moment later, when she burst with pleasure, she would've gone into detail about what she wanted. She wanted John to replace his fingers, now slowly massaging her down from her high, with the evidence of his desire still sitting at her stomach.

John lowered her to the floor again, still helping her stay standing as her legs were jelly, and kissed at her neck. She evened her breathing, feeling the sweat of their exertions sticking her dress to her back. When John leaned back far enough she kissed him, working her fingers over the buttons of his shirt before stripping it off him to run her hands down his chest. He ran a hand down her back, slipping the buttons of her dress from their loops, while she directed him back toward the bed.

She stepped out of her dress, risking the moment of lost hold on him, and pulled her chemise over her head. If there had been more light or she hadn't just experienced something she wanted again very soon, she might've been embarrassed being naked with John but when she worked his trouser fastenings free and let them drop to the floor she was nothing but pleased.

He put his hands to her waist as he sat on the edge of the bed. She pulled at his pants and they fell away to leave them equals in this Garden of Eden. Anna looked down, glad for the shadow that left it more of a mystery to be discovered by the senses other than sight.

The senses that allowed her to hear how his breath hitched when she ran her hands down over his chest and over his hips. The gooseflesh he raised on her skin when his hands ran over her backside or up to caress her breasts. The taste of his mouth when it met hers. Or the smell of him as he pulled her down, rolling her underneath him.

She moved one leg up, running her foot over the back of his leg, and felt him buck into her. His manhood brushed against her still sensitive core and she caught her breath. John stopped, pulling away enough to see her face.

"Are you sure?"

"Very." Anna lifted herself to kiss him again and ran a hand down his side. "Please finish this John."

He put one hand to her hip, another lifting her already bent leg, and pressed himself into her. Her head went back into the pillows and she felt his head near her shoulders, almost grunting with the effort of moving slowly. The stretch as he slid where she felt he always belonged almost had her sobbing in ecstasy.

She pulled at his face and kissed anywhere she could reach; from his neck to his cheeks, to his lips, to his shoulders as he worked into a slow thrust. Each move worked in unison with his breathing, going as deeply as he could without hurting her if he could help it. Anna rocked to counter the rhythm of his hips and lifted as much as she could, trying to soothe the sparking she felt in her own blood.

John lifted her leg higher, hitting her deeper than before, and his other hand moved to where they were joined. He pressed down in time with his movements and Anna felt like lightning struck her again. She rolled in the pleasure of the moment, calling out his name as John's speed picked up. He rushed to meet her in that moment of pure bliss and soon she heard him call out her name as well.

They lay in the quiet, their breathing working to even as they descended gradually from their mutual highs. John moved to the side but Anna reached for his arm, holding it around herself as she curled close to him.

"Was that what you had in mind when you said you wanted me to know how unladylike you think you are?" John's voice was soft in the quiet and Anna laughed as she rolled over enough to pull the covers around them.

"No." She moved closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder, "It was much better."


	11. Chapter 11

Anna reached behind her but John wasn't there. Sitting up, holding the covers to her, she shivered and searched the room. The sound of a match striking in the corner alerted her to the fireplace where John, holding one of her spare blankets about himself, huddled in front of the stack of wood. She didn't make a sound as she watched him light the fire. The patience he took with it, coaxing the flame to light, bidding the tinder to catch and spread so the room could warm, reminded her of what he coaxed from her not too many hours before and she wondered if she even needed the fire at all with how the memories alone made her feel.

Her gasp, remembering how thorough he was, drew his gaze in her direction and Anna smiled at the darkness in his eyes. He stood, leaving the fire to now fend for itself, and walked the short distance to her bed before climbing next to her.

They didn't touch. He leaned toward her and she leaned back, keeping the distance between them the same until she was on her back and he supported himself on his hands above her. The blanket he held draped over him while the covers in her grip stopped at her waist, pulled there by his crawl. He ran a hand from her blanket-covered knee to her waist, grinning at her shiver as his finger trailed its way up her side toward her breast. He circled there a moment, barely touching her as it skimmed her collarbone before stroking down her arm.

When he reached her hand he pulled it to his mouth and kissed the back of it. He closed his eyes, breathing in her scent before staring her in the eye. Without a word he kissed over the back of her hand, pulling her up by her arm as he continued kissing up her arm.

She was almost his plaything, to do with as he pleased, but Anna didn't want to interrupt whatever he had in mind. She just tried to keep her breathing even as he kissed over her shoulder, around the base of her neck and down the other arm. He stopped at her other hand, pulling it with the first to kiss it.

With both hands in his grip he raised them over her head and leaned her back down on the bed before kissing her mouth. He was soft, but insistent, and Anna opened to him. His breathing grew ragged in time with hers as the fire burned higher and heat started to permeate the room. He broke from the kiss, using his hand gripping hers to keep her on the bed when she started to whine. Instead he grinned at her, licking his lips in a way that had Anna moaning in the darkness even before he kissed down her neck to her collarbone again.

He wreathed her there with kisses and made his way lower. Putting the pressure on his knees, straddling her waist, and using the hand holding her hands immobile on the bed to support himself, left his other hand free to stroke up her neglected side. She shivered with the sensation and almost cried out when that hand took hold of her right breast. He kneaded it slowly, as if carefully exploring it as his mouth moved to her other side.

It was too much. The sensation of his mouth adoringly laving at one side and his hand taking care on the other had her moving against him, struggling to work her hands free. The moment came soon enough as he shifted, switching his ministrations of the mouth to the right and massaging of the hand to the left, and her hands were free. She wrapped them around his neck and held him to her, using the point of leverage to press herself more fully to his body as if it would help him devour her.

He continued downward, her hands slipping from his neck into his hair, as he stroked down her sides and dragged himself over her legs. She could feel the weight of him and couldn't for the life of her decide if she'd ever felt anything in the summation of her experience that compared to this sensation. As his hands stroked down her legs, taking the covers with them, and his breath blew hot against her folds she lost all thought.

His hands traced back up, sliding over her skin as he kissed around her hipbones. He stopped, moving one hand to hold her hip securely while the other feathered to her inner thigh. Anna felt him there, felt herself building in heat and a throbbing sensation she'd come to associate with him in the best of ways, and forced herself to meet his gaze.

It was almost her undoing. Even with the fire burning brightly she could only make out the pinpoints of light that were his eyes. But those pinpoints were enough. There he was, with control over her to do whatever he wished, and he waited for her. She wasn't a blushing girl and she'd picked up more than a few lewd stories from the fishermen she managed so she knew the rough parameters of his intentions but she didn't want to speak… it'd ruin the moment.

Instead she leaned up, pulled his face to hers, kissed him soundly until she needed to breathe, and then laid back. She felt his breath move closer, his fingers trailing over her already sensitive folds, and called out as he kissed her there.

Her body writhed in his grip as he alternated sucking at her, kissing, stroking her, and working his fingers through her folds. The sensations ran through her like lightning, lifting her higher and higher and her breathing grew more and more erratic. She could barely comprehend what was running through her as he ravished her with his mouth. All of the emotions she felt were incoherent between repeating his name like a Catholic rosary and crying out at the incomprehensible pleasure of it all.

When he finally brought her to her peak her whole body arched off the bed, her hands clutching the sheets with white knuckled fingers, and she screamed his name. She opened her eyes and saw him crouching at the bottom of the bed, running his tongue over his lips, and she almost came again in that moment.

She pulled him to her, crashing her lips on hers and sucking every last trace of herself off his lips until he was all she could taste. He came willingly and barely grunted when she pushed at his shoulder so he'd lay back on the bed. She didn't want to break her connection to him and fumbled with one hand, the other keeping firm hold on his neck, to reach him. She'd felt him earlier, resting warm on her stomach, but now he was almost too much to hold and pulsed hotly in her grip.

He moaned into her mouth but if he had intentions to stop what she intended it was too late. She maneuvered herself to straddle him, lined him up as carefully as possible and sank down. That broke their kiss for a moment as he gasped for air and she reveled in the sensation of him, once again, deep inside her.

From this position he was everywhere and she controlled it. She risked a look down and saw John, his head back into the pillows as if trying to capture every feeling, and it made her put her hands on his chest, rise up, and sink down again.

With that his eyes shot open and Anna made sure he was watching as she ground down on him, twisting her hips to feel him strike every nerve inside her. She wanted to speak, wanted to tell him what she felt in that moment, to give words to the fire in her veins, but nothing was sufficient. Nothing could express what she felt except to guide his hands to her hips and press herself down on him, more slowly than before.

His eyes rolled back into his head at that and Anna felt almost drunk with the power she had now. Only moments before this man had her almost wailing uncontrollably with his actions and now she ruled him. This was what it all meant. The give and take between two people seeking the pleasure of the other above themselves. Two people willing to be vulnerable and free with one another when everything was laid bare.

And oh what a heady feeling that was.

Anna rocked, sank, and gyrated with the aid of his hands firm at her hips. He thrust into her, unable to control himself any longer, and she laughed with it. This was intoxicating and suddenly she wondered how people in love ever left the bedroom.

John moved one of his hands to her core and rubbed for a moment until he found the right spot. Anna gasped, her eyes flying open to meet John's. They stared at one another as their speed increased until she called out his name again and he shouted hers.

His arms wrapped around her as he fell back onto the bed and Anna was sure she couldn't move again even if the house was on fire. She barely had the energy to lift her head as his fingers brushed hair from her face. He kissed her, gentle as the barely-there touches he trailed down her spine. She sighed into the feeling and closed her eyes, lulled back to sleep by the evenness of his breathing and the comforting beat of his heart under her ear.


	12. Chapter 12

John opened his eyes and squinted at the unfamiliar surroundings in the weak morning light. A clock chimed somewhere and he counted the strokes. Six deep tones filled the space and he didn't recognize the resonance of the clock. He went to move but felt something on his arm and finally realized where he was.

He shifted in the bed, moving to lay closer to Anna. Her face was sideways on the pillow, one arm bare over the covers as she breathed easily. She was comfortable and he couldn't stop himself from running a hand up her arm. She twitched slightly but he still bent to kiss the spot where her hair met her temple.

"If you continue as you are, Mr. Bates, I'm afraid we will both be late for our respective jobs." John smirked as Anna, still keeping her eyes closed, smiled. "You wouldn't want to make me late would you?"

"I've got nowhere else to be." John placed slow kisses from her temple to the spot where her chin met her neck. "Do you?"

"I need to be at the fishery in an hour."

"Could you be late once?"

"Not after last night." Anna lifted his head, finally opening her eyes to meet his gaze. "Everyone knows I followed you and if I miss today what will they all say?"

"What will they say when they see me leaving your cottage?" John dipped to nip at her collarbone, Anna moving more fully onto her back to give him better access. "It benefitted us last night when no one could hear you but now we're all exposed to the world if they see us leaving."

"Especially since you only have your white tie?" Anna cringed, laughing at John's expression. "I may have something for you."

"Do you invite many men to your cottage Ms. Smith?" John tried to keep a lightness to his tone but he felt the green-eyed monster rising in him.

"Tom Branson lived in my spare room for a week when his home was washed out in a flashflood a few months ago and I collect donations for the workhouse bin." Anna pushed at his shoulder, rising from the bed, "I'm on the committee at church."

"Oh." John felt a fool until Anna, naked as the day she was born, leaned back over the bed to kiss him.

"I find it endearing you're so protective of what's yours."

"Are you mine?"

"I don't invite just anyone to my bedroom John Bates," Anna ran a finger down his cheek and John felt his blood run hotter. "And while I'd love to continue having you here until neither of us can move I think we need to return to our lives for the moment."

John waited as Anna moved forward, only inches from his mouth, "Do you agree Mr. Bates?"

"I don't think I've agreed with anything less but I know it's the right thing."

Anna kissed him quickly and moved to her wardrobe, shivering. "I'll leave first and then you wait until after eight. Unless you think you could slip out now. The rush for the docks is passed and the fisheries won't rush for another half hour. If you hurry then no one will notice."

"I don't know if I'd mind that they did." John recovered his pants and trousers, pulling an arm through a sleeve of his shirt as Anna piled her hair higher on her head.

"You won't say that when the whole town is talking about you."

"They already will be." John buttoned his shirt slowly, remembering the dinner party.

"The Crawleys are better people than that. They'd never say something about you to hurt your reputation." Anna walked over to him, putting a hand on his arm, "They're good people."

John picked up her hand, kissed it, and then held it in both of his. "It's not them I'm worried about."

"Thomas?" Anna snorted, "Mary put him in his place after you left. If I know Robert Crawley he'll dismiss him before lunch unless Thomas displays heroics equal to you saving him from the boat."

"People like him slip out of things they shouldn't all the time."

"In more ways than one I imagine." Anna laughed, covering her mouth as her mirth couldn't be contained and John found himself joining in. Anna wiped at her eye, blinking away tears, "It'll work itself out and Thomas'll be sorry he said anything at all in the end."

"If you say so." John folded his collar and tie into a pocket as Anna held his hand.

"I know so." She pulled him to the hallway, taking her coat from the peg and handing him his. "Now I'd offer you breakfast but I don't have anything here and since you declined my offer for the workhouse bin..."

"Everyone would know where I got the clothes and I have all your tea so I understand." John opened the door and craned his head, "At least the rain's cleared."

"Then it won't slow me down on the way to the pub." Anna took a deep breath and John realized they stood in the doorway where it all started last night. "I wouldn't take back any of it."

"Neither would I." John wanted to touch her but he knew if he did they'd never leave. "What will you do with me, now that you've had your way with me?"

"I don't know." Anna raised a hand to move a strand of his hair out of the way, "I only know now that I'm who I was always meant to be."

"I just hope you don't come to regret it."

"I could never regret it." Anna searched his eyes, but he hadn't a clue what she'd be looking for there but she repeated herself with a determined tone, "I could never regret it."

"And for that I know that I don't deserve you." Anna sighed but John continued, "They'll call me names, they'll call you names, if they know what happened here."

"Mr. Bates," Anna took his hands in hers, "I've waited long enough for someone like you. Now that we've been together we can we not let that be enough? Let one night be enough?"

"It could never be enough." John leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "Never enough, that I promise you."

"Then," Anna pulled away, putting a hand on his cheek he covered with his own, "Let it be enough for now."

"That I can do Ms. Smith."

"Good." Anna peeked out the door, "I'll leave first and then you wait before following me. There's a path that leads around the back of town. If you take it and meet anyone they'll just think you've been wandering the cliffs."

"In white tie?"

"I've seen stranger around here." Anna giggled, "Though I'd love to see how you'd explain it."

"Maybe I'll tell you over breakfast tomorrow Ms. Smith."

"I'd like that." Anna kissed him on the cheek and ran from the door, hurrying down the path toward town.

John checked the light, burying himself in gears and mechanisms. Something knocked on the floor above him and John moved too quickly, hitting his head on a pipe. He grunted with the pain and put a hand to the back of his head as he craned up to see who it was. He almost dropped the oilcan on his foot as he saw Robert Crawley leaning into the open space above him.

"Sorry to disturb your work there but I have an apology to make to you."

John hurried out of the opening, wiping his grimy hands on a cloth and pointing to a seat for Robert, "Please, sit."

"I don't mean to take too much of your time or be too much trouble."

"No, it's no trouble at all." John looked around for a spot before perching on the edge of a bench. "I'm sorry you had to climb all those stairs."

"I would be too if I didn't think it more important to apologize to you for the behavior of my butler." Robert sighed, "I dismissed him shortly after you left when he confessed how he knew about your infraction with the law."

John hung his head, "I hoped it wouldn't come to that."

"We all knew, in a way, but it's different when you know for sure. But his sins in that regard are not why I gave him notice." Robert rubbed his hands on his trousers, as though not sure what to say. "I gave him notice for how he treated you, especially after what you did for him."

"Anyone would've done the same."

"No, not for Thomas." Robert stared out at the ocean, "It's amazing what a moment can tell you about a person."

"Sir?"

"In a moment you saw a boat in struggle and you left your safe perch here to rescue it. In a moment when Thomas could've exercised restraint he sought to destroy you. And in the moment when you were made a fool you chose the high road and didn't respond. You were honest."

"But I wasn't, sir. I didn't confess to a previous conviction when I applied for this job."

"Even if you had I wouldn't have cared. We needed someone for the lighthouse and no one else wanted the job. More importantly," Robert stood and extended John a hand, "You're the right man for this. You truly are."

"That means a great deal to me sir." John wiped his hand a few more times on his trouser leg to ensure it was clean enough and shook Robert's hand. "Thank you."

"Though," Robert moved to the ladder, "If you do anything to hurt Ms. Smith I'll take great offense to that."

"Sir?" John felt his breath catch in his throat.

"I saw the way she stared at you through dinner and I know she fancies you. If you don't fancy her then let her know but don't break her heart. She's like a daughter to me and I want only the best for her."

"I do fancy her sir," John swallowed, trying not to think too much about the previous evening and give himself away. "And I'd never hurt her."

"Good. Then perhaps when I get back from London I'll hear more good news about the two of you." Robert walked down the ladder, "Stay safe John. Who knows when I may need someone to save me from another boat wreck."

John waved as Robert left and then sat down on the bench. He blew out a gust of air, ran a hand through his air, and stared out at the sea.


	13. Chapter 13

Anna knocked on John's door, stepping back to stare at the light, and smiled when she heard him moving on the other side of the door. He opened it and Anna felt her grin go as wide as his did over his face. John all but pulled her into the house, shut the door, and had her against it faster than she could register his lips on hers.

She put her hands around his neck, holding his tight as he ravaged her mouth until the need to breathe drove them apart. He rested his forehead on hers, trying to find enough air for his lungs. "Sorry."

"Never apologize for that. If that's how you kiss me every time we're apart I'll spend more time away." She would've laughed if not for how he crowded her against the wood in the next moment.

"The only time I want to spend apart from you is the time we're forced there."

"Then we'd better get moving or we'll miss breakfast." Anna kissed him quickly and opened the door, "Coming Mr. Bates?"

She waited just outside the door for him and looped her hand through his arm when he joined her. He bent down, kissing the back of her hand, and murmured, "All I could think about was you last night."

"How fortunate since all I could think about was you as well." Anna pulled closer to him as they walked. "I was wondering how I would spend my Saturday but all I could think about was you. I guess it answered my question."

"What exactly did you have in mind Ms. Smith?"

Anna stopped, "I thought we discussed names. I'm Anna."

"I remember. I just feel it's more polite to refer to you with a term of respect."

"You didn't have any problem saying my name the other night," Anna leaned toward his ear, "John."

John shivered and Anna smirked to herself, "I'd say you know me well enough at this point to call me Anna in public."

"I would say I do however," He leaned over to her ear as they neared town, "I'd prefer to only say your name when I know I have you all to myself and no one else can hear how you say my name."

Anna tried to even her breathing, recognizing she'd brought this upon herself but loving every second of it. "Do you have plans to do so anytime soon _Mr. Bates_?"

"If you're not opposed to going to church with me tomorrow then I could make a case for this evening."

"I didn't think you attended church. I'd have seen you there."

"Would you?" John held the door to the 'The Delicate Spoon' open and Anna walked in before him.

"I never could've missed someone like yourself." Anna chose a seat, sliding into a back booth with him. "I'd have seen you walk in, searching for a seat not claimed by a local and possibly taking a back corner."

"You're not wrong there."

"Then I'd stare at you throughout the sermon. Sneaking looks in your direction and hoping you'd see me while hoping you wouldn't." Anna put her hands on the table and John took them in his, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of them. "Then, when you did see, I wouldn't be able to turn back around."

"Just so you know," John kissed the knuckles on Anna's right hand and then her left, "I'd have seen you too."

"Oh?"

"I'd walk in the doors, search for my seat, and see you standing in the aisle talking to someone. They'd make a comment and you'd laugh. That glorious, more heavenly than angels' singing laugh, and I'd be undone." Anna was leaning into John's grip on her hands as he continued. "I'd stumble into a seat but not a word of the sermon would reach my ears because I'd be thinking of how I could get you to speak to me."

"I'd force my way through the crowds exiting the church and introduce myself." Anna pulled one of John's hands toward her now, running her lips over it so softly she barely touched him. "I'd extend my hand and ask you to walk me home."

"Just like that?"

"Just," Anna kissed his hand, "Like," she kissed the other, "That."

"You are far bolder than I Ms. Smith." John smiled at Anna and she shrugged.

"If the other night is any evidence of that I'd say so." Anna sighed, looking out the window, "Though I'd love to see what a bold John Bates would do if I told him I have nothing planned with my day."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Not for breakfast." Anna waited, watching John's eyes darken as he tried to control his breathing. "Of course, if you're too exhausted from a long night's work I won't keep you."

"Ms. Smith," John gripped Anna's hand harder than his earlier caresses but it didn't hurt. He was trying to rein in his emotions, "There's nothing that could keep me from following through with whatever demands on my time you have for me today."

"But Mr. Bates," She leaned slightly over the table to speak in his ear, "I want you to make the demands this time. I've been bold enough for the both of us. Now it's your turn."

"I-" John went to speak but something slapped on the table between then and Anna was doused with half of a flying drink while John was covered in the other half.

Anna gasped through the liquid, smelling the cheap beer and immediately thinking of the night her stepfather tried to attack her and her sister. She moved out of the booth quickly, grabbing at a napkin as voices suddenly filled her ears. Another set of hands pressed napkins to her, wiping her face with a care that mean John thought more on her state than his own.

"Come off it Thomas."

"You ruined me!" Anna looked around John's arm as he turned but kept her between him and the wall. Thomas pulled out of the other man's grasp, "Let me go Jimmy. I've got something to square with Mr. High and Mighty here."

Thomas, looking absolutely shitfaced and angry, pointed with the hand holding the now empty glass of beer. Another man pulled at his arm from behind, face ashen and keeping his voice low as if he wanted to run away from the scene himself.

"I think you confused me with someone else. I remember saving your life." John pointed to the door, "Now please leave so I can escort Ms. Smith home. You drenched her in your drink and I hope you'll apologize for that."

"Apologize for what?" Thomas threw the glass at them and John half covered Anna as it shattered on the wall behind them but a shard caught her forehead and gashed John on the hands he used to cover her. "For telling them the truth about a bloody thief?"

"And what about your truth?" John faced Thomas again, "I didn't tell them what I know about you so you've only yourself to blame."

"Think you're so high and mighty in your lighthouse, looking down on the rest of us." Thomas rubbed the back of his hand under his nose as he wobbled a moment. "We're just ants to you."

Anna felt her breath catch as she held a hand to the cut on her forehead, trying to stop the bleeding.

"What's got your knickers in a twist? What did I do to you?"

"You saved him. I was supposed to save him."

"What?" Anna heard the tone in John's voice, unable to see his face, and recognized the confusion.

"I was supposed to save him in that storm and you ruined it."

Anna gasped as Thomas swung at John but John blocked the drunken haymaker and landed a solid right that floored Thomas. The other man hit the ground and his eyes rolled into his head, unconscious in a single punch. The man with Thomas took one look at him on the floor and at John before bolting for the door.

Anna felt her heart racing, palm still pressed to her forehead but her hand was shaking. John didn't turn back around immediately, making sure Thomas was still breathing before leaving him there on the floor. When he did turn around he pulled a handkerchief from a pocket and held it out to her. When Anna couldn't move he slowly pried her palm from her forehead and pressed the cloth there.

She felt her chest move, the sobs rising in her throat as she tried to maintain her composure in the tavern where everyone was staring at them. John put an arm around her shoulders, ignoring his own cut hands, and walked her around Thomas' prone body toward the door.

They came into the sunshine and Anna broke down. The memories of her stepfather, brought on by the smell, mixed with her fear and the adrenaline coursing through her. John rubbed at her arm as he steered her back toward the lighthouse. He spoke softly but she couldn't make out the words. All that mattered was he was holding her close as she cried.


	14. Chapter 14

She barely remembered the actually process of walking to the lighthouse. She only knew he was beside her. She sat on a horizontal surface and felt him brush a damp cloth over her forehead. She saw the reddened water and finally realized his hands were still untreated. But he ignored whatever pain he might experience and continued to treat her.

A moment later he disappeared but she didn't have the energy to go after him, much less call for him. He returned and helped her to stand, escorting her to the second floor washroom. With gentle hands he removed her clothes and helped her into the large tub full of hot water. She sank into it and he took her clothes away, leaving her alone in the washroom.

Anna couldn't tell how long she laid there but the water was still warm when he returned. He knelt by the side of the tub and took her hand, kissing it as she finally turned to look at him. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For what happened there. I should've-"

"Shhhh." Anna leaned forward in the tub, holding his face in her hands as tears filled his eyes. "What could you've done?"

"I don't know I just-"

Anna kissed John, hoping this action would end his arguments. When they pulled away Anna realized she was leaning almost out of the tub. She laughed a little and nodded toward the tub. "I don't suppose you want to join me?"

John's eyes widened and he coughed, "I thought you were leaving the boldness to me Ms. Smith."

"I was but I think you need some help here." She sniffed and wrinkled her nose, "And you smell atrocious."

"I don't think Thomas knows fine beer." John laughed as he stood, "But at least it wasn't something that'll stain."

"That's something." Anna sighed, shaking her head to rid herself of the memories pushing to the surface. "I hate the smell of beer."

John stopped, almost completely stripped of his clothes when Anna finally turned to look at him. She tried to wave away the comment, "It's what my stepfather liked to drink."

"Anna," John knelt by the bath again, "I'm so sorry. I didn't even think-"

"John," Anna stopped him again, "I want to think about something else and I think you can help me with it. If you want to help me you'll join me in this water."

To his credit John didn't have to be asked twice as he finished undressing and slid himself behind Anna. She leaned back against him, breathing in time with him as they just rested in the water.

After a moment she pulled his hands into the water, carefully inspecting the cuts. "These look superficial."

"Much like the one on your forehead." John pulled her hair back to kiss at it. "I imagine there won't even be a scar."

"Scars tell us what we've survived." Anna relaxed on John, running a hand down his right leg. "Like this one."

"That was the result of a fire." John's hand moved over hers, letting her trace the puckered skin. "One of the midshipmen had too much to drink one night and left a candle burning. It almost burned the whole cabin with him inside but I passed by and sounded the alarm."

"Ever the hero." Anna smiled to herself and then her breath caught as she felt something move at her back. "Don't tell me you like people calling you that, Mr. Bates?"

"I'm not a hero." John kissed at her neck and shoulder, moving her hair to the right so he could work at the left. "What I like is for you to continue exactly as you were."

"You mean like this?" Anna stroked down John's leg, tracing every bit of the scar she could feel before working her way back.

"Just like that." John's hand moved up her arm and around her waist. "No one's touched it since the doctor pulled off the last bandages."

"You never do?"

"I try to forget it's there."

Anna turned partially, forcing John away from her shoulder so he stared at her, "Why? It's a sign that you did something brave. Those are things to remember."

"It's what destroyed my marriage." Anna felt her brow furrow so John continued to explain. "I was in hospital so long it ate through a lot of our savings. The Navy covered part of it but it left my wife and I in a state, financially."

"Your wife?" Anna tried to remember, "Your wife who committed suicide?"

"Yes. Vera." John leaned back against the tub but Anna kept her eyes on him. "We married in a rush and realized we'd married for all the wrong reasons. But I was in the Navy so it left her free to do as she pleased when I was at sea. Made me the laughing stalk of many a pub but I wasn't there long enough to care. We both lived the lie because we didn't have the courage to end it. When I got injured she realized she might have to take care of me and that frightened her."

"Why?"

"Because the thought of caring for someone was beyond her. She'd always been selfish. When we married I was too but life in the Navy changes you and I realized I didn't want that anymore." John ran a hand through Anna's hair and she shivered with the sensation. "We were close to broke and I went back to the Navy. She took matters into her own hands to put herself back in a financial position she wanted. She took a job, which should've been the first indication something wasn't right, and worked at the Naval base."

"Is that when she stole the silver?"

"Yes. I was home a week when they were banging on our door. I was in a marriage I hated, drinking to bury my sorrows, and practically destitute. So I confessed to it, realizing we were in that state because of me, and so they locked me up for three years." John trailed his fingers out of Anna's hair, "When I got out I realized I couldn't live that lie anymore. The Navy discharged me and I went home to ask for a divorce. She killed herself a week later."

"John," Anna put a hand to John's cheek and he turned his face to kiss her palm. He smiled at her.

"It's in the past and I want to focus on the future."

"Thank you for telling me." Anna smiled back at him and then gasped as his other hand, the one she hadn't been watching, slipped between her legs and began massaging her. "John?"

"I said I wanted to focus on the future." John pulled her closer to him so her back was to his chest. Anna let her head fall back to his shoulder as he stroked her. "And my immediate future is making sure you have a very good memory for today."

Anna couldn't respond as John brought his other hand around to knead at her breasts. He stroked in time with her breathing, quickening his movements as she tried to breath faster. It was almost a race until he slipped two fingers inside her. Anna bucked in the water, moving her hips in time with his strokes as he put his mouth beside her ear.

"I'm imagining your face right now. Your eyes are closed and your mouth is barely open. I can feel you breathing but I have to imagine the color of your cheeks. I would guess they're a lovely shade of red and your eyes, if they were open, would be darker than the sea in a storm."

"John, please." Anna felt herself tightening as he worked another finger into her. "John I can't-"

"Can't what? Remember I'm behind you Anna so you'll have to tell me what you want." She could almost feel him grinning against her neck.

"I can't do this without you."

"Good." John brought his other hand down and pressed in time with his first hand on her bundle of nerves.

Anna almost screamed with the burst of pleasure. She collapsed against him as he massaged her down from her high. She felt him at her back but she could barely move. When she did manage to shift John was there, smiling at her. "Is that bold enough for you?"

"You're very cheeky when you're satisfied with yourself Mr. Bates."

"I'm not quite satisfied yet. As I'm sure you know." He moved against her back and Anna moaned. "But your satisfaction is my pleasure."

"I'm sure I could make it your pleasure." Anna stood up, lifting her hair off her shoulders. She risked a look down and saw John's jaw drop a bit. "But I'd rather continue this elsewhere, if that's alright with you Mr. Bates."

She grabbed one of the towels hanging near the door but didn't have a chance to use it as John pressed on her from the back. He sucked at her pulse point. "I think we should finish this here."

"How?" Anna leaned a hand toward the wall and felt John's hands at her hips.

"Just like this." John put a leg between hers, moving her other hand to the wall. "If you still want me to be bold."

"I think-" Anna gasped when one of his hands stroked up her spine, "It's your home Mr. Bates and whatever you decide is fine."

John didn't say anything as he thrust into her. Anna leaned all of her weight on her arms, feeling him deep inside her and setting her on fire from the inside out. He moved slowly at first, keeping one hand around her waist and the other on the wall just beside her head. When she leaned back onto him he moved his hands down her sides.

"Tell me how you feel Anna." He increased his speed, kissing over her shoulders. "Remember I can't see you."

"I don't have words." Anna groaned when his fingers pressed at her center again. "How do you describe heaven to someone?"

John growled into her ear. "Do you want to hear me tell you how it feels?"

Anna could only nod as his hand worked counter to his movements. "It feels like I'm being burned from the inside out. It feels tight, hot, and wetter than any rainstorm I've endured. It feels better than I've ever imagined. Like every part of me is sparking. I think about you and it's enough."

"John." Anna pulled his head to hers, kissing him for the first time since he joined her in the bath. He attacked her mouth as his frenetic pace bordered on the erratic. Anna couldn't tell if her body was wet because of the bath or the sweat but the only sound she could hear was them and that was enough.

She cried out, leaning forward into the wall again as John thrust one final time. He sighed her name with each kiss he left over her spine and she moaned his name as he slipped out of her.

Anna felt her arms shaking and her legs trembled but a moment later John pulled her into his arms. She went willingly, putting her arms around his neck as he lifted her off her feet.

He carried her to a bed and pulled the covers back to tuck her in. As he went to leave Anna held his hand. John knelt by the bed and brushed her hair away from her face. "I need to empty the tub."

"Stay. Please?" Anna ran a finger over his face, "I don't want to sleep alone if I don't have to."

John crawled beside her and pulled her close. She put her head over his heart, running a hand over her chest as his fingers tickled over her back. She squirmed and he turned to her, "What?"

"I'm ticklish there."

"Here?" He tickled at her and Anna laughed with it. John laughed with her, continuing to tickle her until she finally kissed him.

"You're a dangerous man Mr. Bates."

"You wanted me to be more bold." He winked at her and Anna settled back down. "I hope I didn't overstep the bounds."

"You didn't." Anna stroked a hand over his chest, breathing in time with him. "Thank you for taking me away from there. For helping me forget."

"I'm at your service Ms. Smith. However, whenever, whatever."

Anna kissed his cheek, "And I for you Mr. Bates."


	15. Chapter 15

Anna opened her eyes as he heard the church bell. She groaned and tried to roll over but came in contact with a solid object. She smiled and saw John staring at her.

"Good morning." He moved hair out of her face. "Will you be attending church today?"

"I think I should." She bit her lip, "I have done some things I think I should ask God to forgive me for."

"Oh?" John moved to support his head on his hand, laying sideways, "And what would you ask forgiveness for?"

"Well," Anna ran a finger around the edge of his jaw, "I did have sex with a man who's not my husband. Many times. In my bed and in his. And in his washroom."

"You did." John nodded. "But not a married man."

"Not a married man, no." Anna made a face, running her finger down his chest, "But he is divorced."

"Hm." John hummed as Anna ran her fingers through the hair on his chest. "Do you think God will forgive you?"

"That's just it." Anna moved closer, "I don't know if I can ask for forgiveness."

"And why's that?"

"Because I'm not sorry for any of it." Anna grinned, moving to kiss John. "To ask for God's forgiveness I think you actually have to feel sorry you did anything wrong."

"And you don't think this is wrong?"

"Well," Anna pushed at John's shoulder so he was laying on his back and straddled his waist, "I don't feel sorry for it. But if you think it's wrong then I won't continue what I had in mind."

"What do you have in mind?" John ran his hands up her thighs as Anna leaned down, tucking hair behind her ear.

"I intend to have my way with you again before I go to church."

"I won't stop you." John let his hands ghost up Anna's sides to trace around her breasts. "I'm not a fool. Except for you."

"The best kind of fool to be then." Anna kissed John, pulling at his tongue before nipping his bottom lip. "Though you may regret letting me have my way with you in a moment."

"Why?"

"Because," Anna moved down John's body, taking the covers away from where they'd tented below his waist, "I think I'm going to be very bold and you might beg me to stop."

John couldn't respond as Anna gripped him in her hands. She stroked upward and he moved his hands to hold the bedframe above him. Anna licked her lips as she twisted, pulling with one hand as the other ran through the hair on John's chest. She scraped back down while her other hand moved to circle him at the base before pulling upward.

"Anna I-" John fumbled with his words and Anna was tempted to pause a moment so he could gather his thoughts. But when she ran a finger up the underside of him and he bucked into her hand she didn't want to. "Anna I need to ask you something."

"What?" She trailed her nails up one side and down the other as his breathing quickened. This was better than when she rode him. He was even more at her mercy now and she liked it.

"Please take- take-" John groaned again and Anna stopped.

"Remember we're being bold John. What do you want?"

"Your mouth. Use your mouth." He put his palms to his eyes, as if trying to block out every other sense so he could focus his thoughts. "Please."

Anna bent her head and blew hot air on him. She smiled as he twitched and John's eyes opened. She waited until he was watching her and licked up the underside. His hands clutched the side of the bed now, knuckles white.

"Are you sure John?" Anna ran her fingers over his scar, "We may both need to ask forgiveness if I do."

"I'll ask forgiveness from the rooftops."

"I may hold you to that." Anna ran her tongue over her bottom lip and then took him in her mouth.

She sucked at him the way he had her the other night, dragging her teeth lightly over the smooth skin. He bucked into her and Anna countered the motion. One of her hands worked the base of him as she wrapped her tongue over the top, pulling out before sucking hard on him again. He moaned her name but it only spurred her onward.

When she could taste something she lapped at it, closing her eyes to enjoy the earthy flavor. But she didn't have it for long. John pulled her up by her shoulders and turned them so she lay flat against the bed. She tried to gather her breath but he was attacking her mouth, searching every crevice for the taste of him she kept there while his fingers found where she was wet.

He worked her with his fingers while she writhed beneath him, moving her hand back to stroke him in time with his movements. A moment later he broke the kiss and took her hips in his hands before plunging into her. In their other joinings he was slow and methodical, making sure she was comfortable before he started moving at speed but this time he was frantic.

Anna saw it in his eyes as he drove into her, hitting all of her nerves and lighting them on fire. He took her mouth again, holding her hands above her head when he moved to suck a line of open-mouthed kisses down her collarbone. He held her in place when he took a breast in his mouth and her fingers tangled in his hair to keep him there. He moved to the other while his other hand kept time with his thrusts at her core.

The feeling of him everywhere, almost animalistic in his movements, drove her to the edge and she pulled his head up so she could call his name in his ear when she came. He buried his head in the pillow beside her head, reciting her name like a child's poem as he lost all finesse and simple drove into her until he released.

John collapsed on her slightly but Anna held him there a moment, kissing from his ear to his shoulder and back. He moved away, taking back his position at her side, still trying to get his breath back. They looked at one another and John smiled.

"I think we should always be bold with one another, Ms. Smith."

"I quite enjoy it." She kissed the tip of his nose, "But now we need to go to church."

Anna felt the stares at the back of head but just held John's hand tighter. She focused on the sermon, trying to keep herself from running her hand up his leg when he ran his thumb over her knuckles. When they sang he leaned close and whispered what he was thinking, almost driving her to come off completely insensible and kiss him there in the chapel.

But somehow they made it through and walked, hand-in-hand, out the doors of the church to the sunshine. Anna smiled up at John and was about to say something when someone touched her shoulder. Anna turned to see Mary and Matthew standing there, Sybil off speaking to Tom.

"We wanted to make sure you're alright." Mary looked Anna all over, "We heard about the ghastly business at the tavern yesterday morning and went to your house but you weren't there."

Anna pulled John closer to her, "Mr. Bates here was kind enough to take me to his home. He offered me his spare room last night so I wouldn't have to be alone after the ordeal."

"I see." Mary eyed John and Anna knew she didn't believe all the details. "I also wanted to ask about you Mr. Bates."

"Me?" John cleared his throat, "What about, Mrs. Crawley?"

"First, I'm Mary, not Mrs. Crawley as that's my mother." Mary flipped her hair behind her, "Second, to make sure you know that my family believe you to be a man of outstanding character. Anyone in the same circumstances wouldn't taken the low blows but you took the high road. I know my father already spoke to you but I wanted to let you know that I also apologize for any part I took in that horrible business that would make you feel in anyway ashamed."

"I thank you for your words, Ms. Mary but they're not necessary."

"I always apologize when I'm in the wrong, Mr. Bates." Mary held Matthew's hand. "And I do hope to see you again for dinner. Now that Thomas is no longer an issue I'm sure we might have better conversation."

"Less lively, of course." John smiled as he said it and Anna felt all the tensions ease.

"I don't know. That wasn't the most shocking dinner we've ever had." Mary kissed Anna on the cheeks, "And I'll be by tomorrow to see you about how the new system is running."

"Bright and early." Anna watched Mary and Matthew walk away, smiling at one another.

"They seem happier today."

"I think they're happy for the same reason I could barely focus in church." Anna whispered to John, "Someone else got their leg over last night besides us."

"Well we can't have all the fun." John grinned and pointed to the road, "Would you care to take a stroll with me Ms. Smith?"

"I hoped you'd ask Mr. Bates."


	16. Chapter 16

John whistled as he entered the docks toward the fishery but stopped when someone called out to him. He turned and saw the fisherman from the tavern a few weeks ago- Tom- jogging over the docks toward him.

"How are you John?" Tom stuck out a hand and John shook it.

"Well. And yourself Tom?"

"Keeping busy. We're training a lot of new boys lately who don't know stem from stern and it's a right task but we're making a go of it." Tom put his hands to his hips, "If I heard correctly then you are walking out with Ms. Smith."

"I am. At least, I believe I am unless she's walking out with someone and I don't know about it." John joked as Tom shook his head.

"No. If they say Ms. Smith's taken with you then you're her fancyman and no mistake." Tom sized John up, "She choose well."

"You can never go wrong with stock from Ireland."

"So I always say." Tom pointed toward the building, "She should be in her office if you're here to see her."

"I'll be honest, I didn't come to see you."

"I'd hope not. If you're looking for me while someone as beautiful as Ms. Smith is up there then you're a berk."

John waved Tom away and walked into the fishery. He saw a tall, lanky man, smoking as he examined a large machine and walked up to him. "Excuse me?"

The man turned, taking the cigarette from his mouth, "Yes?"

"Could you tell me where Ms. Smith's office is?"

"Just up those stairs there." He pointed then went back to studying the mechanism before him. John stopped, looking over the man's shoulder.

"Can I help?"

"Not unless you can tell me what the problem is here." The man threw up his hands. "I've ben staring at this damned piece for fifteen minutes and I can't see a problem anywhere but I turn it on and the whole thing cocks up."

John bent forward, squinting at a part. "Hand me that wrench?"

The man passed it over and John jammed the wrench into a gear, working it away enough for him to reach behind and pull out a scrap of cloth. He handed the wrench back, "Start her up."

With a wave of his hand for the signal another man down the line started the machine up and it coughed once before coming to life, streaming full ahead. The man clapped John on the shoulder before raising his arms above his head. "You're a cracking genius."

"It's not so different than the machinery that works the light and I repair that myself." John tossed the piece of cloth away as the other man almost slapped himself on the forehead.

"You're the new lighthouse man." He lowered his voice slightly, "I heard what you did to Thomas Barrow at 'The Delicate Spoon' the other day and between you and me I'm glad someone finally knocked him off his high horse. Was it really only one punch?"

"It was." John showed the man his right hand, "Still a little bruised so I guess we can't say his head is empty."

"No that's his soul." The man took a last drag on his cigarette before stamping it out on the floor. He blew out the smoke and extended his hand, "Henry Talbot at your service though I think you can hold your own."

"John Bates."

"An absolute pleasure. Unfortunately I have to go and manage this line." Talbot walked away and John made his way through the press to the stairs. He walked up them to the office and stopped himself going in when he saw Anna arguing with a taller, sterner looking woman. Even through the window he could hear their argument.

"This inspection is completely unnecessary and you know it."

"I inspect as I'm ordered Ms. Smith."

"Don't think I don't know who orders these with the extra change they slip you." Anna pointed at the woman, "I know who pays your bills Ms. O'Brien."

"How dare you?"

"How dare you? Coming here for the second week in a row when you already know we passed the last inspection. What do you hope to achieve here Ms. O'Brien?"

"I'm just doing my job Ms. Smith."

"You could do your job with a little less vitriol toward myself and my employers. This is about the competition up the way and whatever rumors they're spreading about the business I run here."

"There's more to worry about for you than how you run the business."

"What's that supposed to mean?" John'd never heard Anna take that tone. It was careful, calculated, and edged with anger.

"It's the news around the town that you're walking out with someone."

"At least I've got someone to walk out with, Ms. O'Brien."

"And I've still got my dignity because I'm not walking out with a known convict." O'Brien sniffed, "It's a far distance to fall if you need that to keep you happy."

"But I am happy, Ms. O'Brien. While you may not know what that is personally I'll tell you that's all that matters."

"It's not all that matters. Your reputation is in tatters because we all know what you've done with him." John saw the color rise in Anna's cheeks as O'Brien sneered at her. "Gave it all away to someone who went to jail for being a thief. If you weren't unwise before you're definitely the fool now."

"Jealous that someone actually wanted it from me are you?" John felt the more sensible side of himself shouting for her to stay quiet but she didn't back down. "It's not stolen if you gave it and they gave back. Not that you'd know what that feels like."

O'Brien bristled, her ire rising by the tone her voice took, "Doesn't matter how you lost it little miss, all that matters is it's gone and no one wants a slut working for them."

"Then you underestimate me and you underestimate my employers, as always."

You may think you've got the protection of the Crawleys but at the end of the day people like them'll toss you aside as soon as you're not useful."

"Like Lady Flintshire threatens to toss you aside I imagine?" Anna took a deep breath, "I'm not scared of you, Ms. O'Brien and I'm not scared by your threats. If you've finished your inspection I'd suggest you leave."

O'Brien leveled a finger at Anna, "Mark my words Ms. Smith, you'll regret what you did."

"I only regret ever letting you step foot in my fishery now get out before I have someone throw you through the bloody doors."

John stepped back as the door banged open. He and the woman called O'Brien shared one look before she snorted at him in disgust and walked down the stairs. He waited a moment before entering the office.

Anna had her elbows on her desk, face buried in her hands, and didn't move when the door closed. "Gwen I think I might have to cancel our lunch plans."

"I hope not on my account."

Anna's head jerked up and she smiled at him as her shoulders slumped, "You are the best thing that could've walked through that door right now."

"She seems quite the character." John took the seat on the other side of Anna's desk.

"If by that you mean she's a bloody hag then yes," Anna turned back to her work, "She's a character."

John went to say something else but the door opened again and another redhead came through the door. "Anna I just saw O'Brien and she's fit to-" The woman stopped when she saw John, "Sorry, I didn't know you had company."

"Gwen this is John Bates, the lighthouse keeper. Mr. Bates this is Gwen Harding, my assistant manager."

"Pleasure." John shook Gwen's hand, standing to give her the seat.

"You're the one who saved Mr. Crawley and Mr. Barrow?"

"That was me, yes."

"Wow. I've never met a hero before." Gwen smiled as she took the seat, "I can see why Anna'd be taken with you."

"Can you?" John peeked at Anna, smirking to himself as she blushed while trying to focus on her work. "I hope she sees it too."

"I'm sitting right here and I can hear you both." Anna pushed something aside, "What do you need Gwen?"

"O'Brien was spitting fire when she left and I think she might have us in front of the Board of Fisheries if any of her threats hold water."

"She's just puffing wind because I handed her back as good as she gave." Anna stood, "But we'll address that in a moment. I'll escort Mr. Bates out."

They walked just outside her office and Anna folded her arms over her chest, "Sorry about all that."

"It's all in your day's work."

"Unfortunately." She squeezed at her elbow, "What did you need?"

"I wanted to invite you for lunch. They say there's a storm moving in so I can't take you to dinner like we planned."

"I could always stay over. I'm sure we could find ways to keep ourselves busy." Anna licked her lips with a raise of her eyebrows and John coughed.

"As much as I'd enjoy that I think it's better we not."

"Because of what O'Brien said about my reputation."

"She's not wrong Anna." John kept his voice low, "It is something if people suspect and even worse if they know."

"O'Brien's just saying that because she and Thomas are close and Thomas is trying to piece his reputation back together now that everyone knows for sure he's a poofter."

"Even so-"

"John," Anna studied his face, "Don't tell me you're thinking we should stop seeing one another."

"No," John shook his head, "I think we might want to move things forward."

"Forward?"

"If everyone suspects you and I are more than walking out then perhaps we should be more than that." John held up a hand as Anna went to speak, "I won't ask you any important questions yet but if I do then promise me you're answer would be 'yes'."

"If you asked me, John Bates, there's no other answer I could give." Anna squeezed his hand, "Now I've got to put out a fire I started and you need to sleep if you've got a rough night ahead."

"I don't sleep well unless you're with me."

"Then take comfort knowing neither do I. Not anymore." Anna kissed his cheek and went back into her office.


	17. Chapter 17

John checked the rotation and sighed. "Could you pass me the wrench?"

Ana ducked her head into the trap door, handing him the wrench as she did. "I would've thought something like this would be far more durable."

"It was when it was built sixty years ago." John grunted as he twisted a piece in place, sighing as he checked it again. "But I've sent in a request for more efficient parts and now I've just got to wait for them to actually arrive."

"Not very patient are you?" Anna leaned over the top as John climbed the ladder, stopping just inches from her face.

"How patient do I have to be?"

"Depends on what you're being patient for." He reached to kiss her but she backed away, "Not until you finish."

John grabbed a few more tools and went back under the light, "I'd have thought there were better ways for you to spend a precious day off rather than wait for me to fix this."

"I can't think of any." Anna's voice reached him, sounding almost as though she was focused on something else.

"But you're just sitting up there, waiting for me, and I can't even have you help."

"Maybe I like the quiet. Or maybe I just like being with you."

"Not sure you got the better end of that bargain." John checked a catch.

"Any time spent with you is time well spent because I'm spending it with someone I love."

John stopped and heard Anna pause too. He slowly climbed up the ladder, emerging fully this time, and went to where she sat. She didn't meet his eyes until they were right next to one another. "Would you say it again?"

"Which part?"

John put a hand to her cheek, brushing it softly. "The part where you said you were spending time with someone you love."

"Why?"

"Because I can't believe you'd say that."

"And why wouldn't you believe that?" Anna brushed something on his shirt, "You're the best person I've ever met and even after a few short weeks I know I'll never find anyone like you."

"You'll wake up and realize that's not true."

"But it is true. I do love you, Mr. Bates, and I'm not ashamed to say it. It may not be ladylike or appropriate or conventional but I'm in love with you."

John pulled her close for a kiss and held her there until he couldn't breathe. He rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed to bask in the feeling of just being near her. He whispered in her ear, feeling the tears prick at his eyes, "I've never loved anything the way I love you."

Anna pushed him back, wiping the tears from his eyes and then her own, "Well, now that I've got you in a state how will you ever fix this?"

"Patience I'm sure." John laughed with her before standing. "And I-"

A loud knocking sounded from below them and John helped Anna stand so they could take the ladder and stairs down to the main floor.

"Were you expecting anyone else?"

"I don't have any friends but you." John reached the sitting room as the knocking now resembled banging, "And I don't have a meeting with the Council about the ledgers and expenses until next week."

John opened the door and had to catch the person standing there as she collapsed into tears. When he finally had her standing again, Anna rushing to his side, he recognized Sybil Crawley.

"Sybil? Sybil what's wrong?" Anna asked, pulling in one of John's pockets for a handkerchief to give the sobbing girl.

"It's Mary. She and Matthew were driving and they were driven off the road. She was tossed clear but Matthew's still trapped under the car. Tom and I were right behind them when it happened and it's not too far from here. Tom stayed to try and get Matthew out but I think something's wrong with Mary. I didn't know what to do but Tom said go and find help and you were all I could think of since Papa's still in London."

John held Sybil while Anna grabbed their coats and rushed them out the door. Anna put her hands on Sybil's shoulders, "Go fetch the doctor. We'll need him."

Sybil nodded before pointing up the road, "They're that way, just around the bend at the fork."

John took Anna's hand and they dashed in the direction Sybil pointed, running as fast as John's complaining leg would allow. They reached the site and John immediately went to Tom's aid, trying to lift the car off a struggling Matthew. John heaved while Tom pulled but the car didn't budge.

"Here," John motioned for Tom to go to Matthew, "You pull him and we only need to lift it a bit at a time."

Tom nodded, already sweating and red faced from his exertions. As they pulled and struggled they heard the sound of a car horn. John looked up and saw Henry Talbot driving by. He pulled his car over and jumped out, throwing his jacket off as he rushed to help.

"Where do you need me?"

"We just need Mr. Crawley out." John huffed, trying to get a better grip on the car. "If we can tilt it then Tom can drag him."

"Right." Talbot went under John, shoving his shoulder under the door. "On three then? Tom?"

"On your call Henry."

"One, two, three."

John lifted, feeling his leg scream in pain as Talbot shoved with his shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye John saw Tom drag Matthew clear and John dropped his hold on the car. He stumbled back, only just catching himself before he fell. Talbot put a hand to his arm but John waved him off and Talbot went to help Tom.

"We could get him into my car and run him to the doctor."

"No need." John pointed up the road to where another car pulled next to Talbot's and an older man, with Sybil, jumped out.

"John!" John pivoted to where Anna sat with Mary. "John I think her baby's coming."

The crack of thunder could not have been more ill timed. The doctor went to Matthew's side, ordering Tom and Talbot to help him hold Matthew down as the other man thrashed in place because of pain. John moved next to Anna. Mary was gasping, breathing hard, and red-faced.

"I've never delivered a baby before." Anna looked at John, shaking her head, "I don't know what to do."

"It's alright." John soothed, "You hold behind her shoulders and give her support. That's what she needs. Keep her breathing normally."

"Matthew," Mary called out as Anna took position behind Mary, pulling the groaning woman to her as the deluge started. "Is he alright?"

"He's out from under the car. We just need to worry about you and your baby at the moment Mary." John moved Mary's legs to bend at the knee, "Now I need you to breathe as steadily as you can. Listen to Anna and she'll guide you through the breaths."

"Have you done this before John?" Sybil, water already dripping from her nose, pulled next to John, pulling off her coat to put under Mary.

"Twice, technically. My mother was a midwife and sometimes she'd take me with her. I once delivered a baby in the Navy."

"And the other time?" Sybil stopped one of Mary's legs straightening.

"A breach birth on a horse." Sybil gave him a look, "Don't ask."

John gathered Mary's dress up only far enough that he could find her knickers and pull them out of the way.

"We need something to keep her arm in all this." Anna rubbed at Mary's arms, "She's shivering."

"Tom, we need your jacket." Sybil called over her shoulder and Tom threw it to her, turning back to the doctor and Matthew.

"Alright Mary," John tried to get Mary's attention, "I need you to focus on the sound of my voice and push only when I tell you."

"I can't." Mary sobbed into Anna's shoulder.

"You can Mary. You changed the way the fishery's run, you came up with the new ideas, this is nothing." Anna encouraged, holding the jacket over Mary. "Just listen to John and you're baby'll be just fine."

"Alright Mary," John looked under Mary's dress, "You're already crowning and the baby's on its way. Pant now."

Mary panted, pushing only when John indicated, and eventually John reached a hand forward. He felt the head, slid his arm under the body as Mary's last push brought the child out. A moment later a shriek filled the air and John tucked the baby in his jacket, keeping it warm as Sybil borrowed twine from the doctor to tie the cord.

"Now cut it between the ties." John pointed with his elbow, rocking the baby in his jacket as Anna soothed Mary. "We still have to wait a minute for the afterbirth but- Or not."

"What do I do with it?" Sybil looked at the mass, soaked to the skin and shivering like the rest of them in the mud beside the road.

"Just make sure it's all in one piece." John checked it from his position, "Though it looks alright."

"Let me look?" The doctor moved to Mary's side, investigating for himself and nodding. "Not half bad on the delivery."

"The mother's the hero." John moved to Mary's side as Sybil helped move Mary to a more comfortable position and get her knickers back up her legs. "And here is your son."

"Oh," Mary cooed at the baby, holding him close to her, Anna shielding them with her jacket. "I want Matthew to see him."

"I think we should get everyone to the hospital first." The doctor pointed to Tom and Talbot. "Lift him into my car and then one of you come with me."

"I'll come if Sybil can drive the car." Tom gave Sybil the keys. "She can take Anna and Mary."

"Then Mr. Bates will ride with me?" Talbot motioned to his car. "Don't want to be left behind."

They worked their odd caravan to the local hospital, John riding on the edge of the seat until they got there. The lot of them were absolutely soaked to the bone and shivering as they entered the building but Tom, Talbot, and John all carried Matthew to a bed. An elderly nurse looked up at them and rushed to help. When she saw who it was she almost collapsed into tears until Tom caught her.

"He'll be alright Mrs. Crawley. The doctor's looking to him now."

The woman sobbed and nodded her head, turning her attention to Mary as Sybil and Anna helped her to a bed in the ward. John went to Anna once Mrs. Crawley took over care for Mary and motioned for he to join him in the hallway.

They looked a right state. John's trousers and coat were covered in mud, his shirt with the blood from the baby. Anna's skirt, stockings, and shoes were ruined and her coat had mud trails halfway up her back. John laughed and Anna joined in as best she could, her teeth chattering.

"What's… so… funny… Mr. Bates?" John grabbed two blankets off an empty bed and wrapped one around Anna and the other about himself. He pulled her into his embrace and they sat on one of the benches lining the hall.

"I'm sure this is not how you expected your day off to go."

"It's not." Anna laughed too, snuggling closer to John, "I'd rather hoped we'd be wet for entirely different reasons."

John felt his blood heat and saw Anna's face meant she knew exactly what she was doing. "You little minx. You can't get me riled up here."

"Why?" Anna's hand slipped from her blanket and rested on John's leg. "Aren't we just going back to the lighthouse?"

John went to answer but then heard a crash from the other room. They both jumped up, their blankets trailing behind them as they hurried into the room. Mary was sobbing next to Matthew's bed, Sybil holding the baby, as the doctor checked Matthew over.

Though he hadn't seen much action in the Navy John'd seen death. He knew the stillness of a dead body and stopped Anna moving forward. When she looked at him he shook his head and Anna covered her mouth, tears springing to her eyes. Tom pulled Sybil away, helping her place the baby in a cradle as the girl cried and Mrs. Crawley pulled Mary into her arms as the doctor pulled a white sheet over Matthew's body.

John tapped Talbot, standing stock still to the side, on the shoulder. "I thought he was stabilized and fine?"

"The doctor thinks something internal. A blockage to the heart or some kind of bleeding he couldn't see. With all the damage the external problems were giving him enough to worry about."

John held Anna closer as Mary's sobs filled the ward.


	18. Chapter 18

Anna pushed the pen away, burying her face in her hands. A knock at her door drew her attention and she sat back, sighing as she squinted at the clock. "Come in."

John peeked in the door and Anna felt her face break into a weary smile. "I'm so glad it's you."

"There's no one else here for it to be."

Anna waved a hand, "I gave them all the day to prepare for the funeral and as a sign of respect."

John walked tentatively closer, "How are you?"

"Busy. Mary's been absolutely shattered and with the new baby it's a mess. Sybil's helping as best she can but they're over their heads." Anna pointed to the piles on her desk, "The best I can do is make sure this part stays managed."

"And you do that marvelously." She smiled at him as he continued, "What about her parents?"

"They return tomorrow, in time for the funeral." Anna shook her head, "It just reminds you how short it all is."

John took the seat across from her desk. "My mother lived into her eighties and no one thought she would with the way her health and mind were by the end. Life has a funny way to looking at death."

"It does indeed." Anna stared at John across the desk and he motioned her over. She rounded the desk and sat on his lap, putting most of her weight on his left leg and leaning her head on that shoulder. "I hope I never lose you."

"I don't plan for you to lose me."

"Not just like that," Anna picked at John's tie, focusing it as she sat up. "As a person. I don't want to lose you to secrets or troubles or anything. I want us to be totally honest with each other about everything."

"What's brought this on?"

"Something Mary said when I visited her yesterday." Anna stroked at John's tie, "She was just staring out the window but she wasn't looking at anything. She just said she wished she'd told Matthew so many more things. Told him how she really felt, been more vulnerable with him, been more honest. She had so many regrets."

"It's how people deal with death."

"I don't want to wait to regret." Anna looked into John's eyes, "It's why I need to tell you something."

"Anything." John pulled her hands from his tie and held them tight.

"You weren't the first." John's face didn't change. He just waited and Anna took a deep breath to prepare herself to continue. "There was someone else. Everyone called him Green because when he came to work at the fishery he had no skills.

"We worked on the same line, he and I, and we got on. We'd talk all day sorting the catches and then sometimes we'd go for a bite together afterward. I thought he was good fun and we enjoyed spending time together but he started pressing me for a more physical side to our relationship but I didn't want it."

John stayed quiet, just listening to her as Anna tried to find the words to continue. "One night, when I refused him, he followed me home. I screamed for help but no one could hear me."

Anna felt the tears start and she couldn't look John in the face. "He pushed me into the back shed and…" She coughed, trying to speak clearly, "He raped me."

John pulled her close and Anna cried into John's shoulder. He ran one hand up and down her back with the other stayed at the back of her head. Anna sniffed through her sobs, "I never told anyone and I never set foot in my shed again."

"It's okay." John soothed, "You're safe here with me now."

After a few minutes her tears stilled enough for her to continue speaking, "I asked to be transferred to another line and that's when I was promoted. I couldn't tell anyone and he knew it because he'd leer at me or make side comments sometimes. I just made sure Tom was with me or William or even Alfred because I never wanted to be alone. That's why Tom stayed here after his house got washed out. I wanted someone I trusted in the house in case it happened again."

"But Tom didn't stay."

"No," Anna wiped at her eyes, "Two days before Tom found somewhere else to live Green was on a boat in a storm. There was an accident and the yardarm came loose. It knocked him out of the boat and they lost him. His body washed up on shore two days later."

"Justice was served then?" John studied Anna's face but she only shrugged.

"It wasn't enough for me. I needed to feel safe again and so I kept myself away from everyone, closed off." Anna shook her head, "Even without anyone, buried in my work, I couldn't forget him."

"Anna-"

"Until I met you." Anna smiled at John, rubbing her thumb along his cheekbone. "No one looked at me the way you did or treated me like you did. You were the first person that made me feel again and I needed you to know that."

John leaned forward and kissed Anna. It wasn't one of his fast kisses, just slow enough to keep their breathing steady but enough to give her a fraction of his emotions. He moved one hand to hold her face while the other gripped her hands.

He broke it after a moment but Anna wanted more. She pressed on his shoulders, keeping him in the chair, and locked her office door. She drew the blinds over all the windows and cleared her desk to sit on it. John raised an eyebrow at her and Anna crooked her finger.

"Please come here Mr. Bates."

John stood, moving to stand in front of her, and put his hands on either side of her. "I'm not sure this is the best time."

"It's the perfect time." Anna unfastened his shirt buttons, pulling him closer with his tie. "I've never felt more at one with someone than I do with you and I've never felt I can be more honest than I am with you. I want you to know what I feel for you."

John still seemed hesitant, not making any other moves toward her. Anna reminded herself that she wasn't an overly brave person. She had her standards and morals that she wouldn't compromise but she wasn't bold. At least, not how she saw it. But in this moment, with John just inches away from her in the privacy of her office, she realized that boldness is relative.

She'd never be as bold as when she took John to her bedroom for the first time but she was certainly bolder than John Bates when it came to these encounters. And she wanted him in this moment, and that just made her bolder. After all she'd told him, after all she'd felt with him, she wanted to feel alive in the context of the death and pain in their lives.

"I want to feel alive with you now John, if you'll let me."

"I can't refuse you anything Ms. Smith."

"That makes me happier than you realize." She pulled him down by his tie and crashed his mouth on hers. To his credit he responded in earnest but he couldn't match her desire. Not in this instance.

Her hands worked his buttons free, pushing his shirt aside enough that she could run her hands up her chest just to scratch down. He groaned into her mouth and stepped between her legs, moving her skirt up. She tipped back enough for him to get it around her waist and went back to pushing his shirt off but keeping his tie on.

His hands gripped at her hips when he deepened their kiss and Anna sucked at his tongue. John broke away, grasping for air before putting his lips by her ear. He worked his way down to her collar, her fingers flying fast enough to open her shirt so he could stroke over the material of her chemise. When his hands moved under it Anna rocked forward, hitting his arousal in his tented trousers.

He stopped a moment, moaning as Anna kept a grip on his tie to move him back from her. She dropped her shirt behind her, worked her skirt off her legs, and finally dropped her knickers to the floor as John's jaw dropped with them. She grinned at him and pulled him back by his tie.

But he didn't go for her lips. Instead her kissed back to her collarbone, is hands working opposite to lift the chemise up over her head. His hands returned to her sides, stroking up to knead her breasts as he kissed between them. As his head moved lower he tipped Anna back and she slackened her hold on his tie. She tried to keep breathing lost in the feel of his lips on her stomach and moving closer to where she burned hottest for him.

One of his hands whispered along her leg, lightly rasping around to pull her to the edge of her desk as she heard the legs of a chair drag over the floor. The next thing she felt was his mouth on her while the fingers of one hand worked her from the inside.

Anna could barely sit up but when she did their eyes met and she was down for. Her cries and whimpers just spurred him faster. His tongue dived in, sucked at her, licked, and then kissed her while his fingers curled inside her, pulled almost out, and thrust in time with her hips. His other hand traced patterns on her stomach and it took all Anna's concentration not to surrender to the pleasure right there.

Within moments she called out his name, the sensations rocking through her and almost sending her bucking off the desk. But his grip kept her there and his soothing words brought her focus back to him.

Anna slid forward, using her grip on his tie to guide her prone body, and landed on his lap. She reached for his mouth, kissing slowly from one side to the other to make sure she took any trace of herself off his lips. Her hands worked his belt free and he lifted his hips enough for her to pull his trousers and pants past his knees.

John put a hand to her hip, the other behind her head, and Anna slid home. His head went back as she took him as far as she could and arched. They both looked up to find one another's eyes as John thrust up and Anna ground down. They kept a slow pace, timing rises with grinds, twists with even strokes to draw the process out as long as possible.

Anna could feel his increase in speed, saw the furrow in his brow from concentration and pulled his ear to her lips, "Anytime you like Mr. Bates. I'm at your pleasure now."

John seized her hips and drove into her. Anna groaned as John continued, risking a hand to where they were joined. She gasped, the white light exploding behind her eyes as he finished within her.

They sat like that for some time, Anna's head on John's shoulder as he ran a hand up and down her back. Finally Anna found the strength to push herself up enough to see John's face. She kissed his forehead, tugging a little on the tie.

"Sometime we might have to do something a little different with this?"

"You don't want to use it again to tell me what to do?" John nipped at her ear, "I thought it rather appropriate."

"Did you?"

"We are in your office. This is where you rule and I was your obedient servant. Here to do whatever you desire."

"That's why I love you." Anna kissed John quickly as he held her closer.

"Because I'm your slave?"

"No," She slapped at his shoulder, "Because you trust me like I trust you. I never feel afraid with you. I only ever feel like you want me more than life itself."

"But I do." John kissed her forehead this time, "I want nothing more than I want you, like this, forever."

"Naked in my office chair?" Anna giggled and saw John shrug.

"I think I meant more along the lines of holding you, protecting you, in my arms forever."

"John." Anna wiped at her eyes.

"But if you want me to stay like this you won't hear complaints from me."

"You cheeky man."

"Only for you." John kissed her cheek, "Now come with me and I'll take you home."

"Where we will continue this?"

"I do hope so."


	19. Chapter 19

John opened his eyes and looked around the room, confused at the bright blue walls. He rubbed at his eyes, trying to clear his vision, and turned in bed. It was then he heard a noise and felt something pull at his shoulder. Then it all came back to him. The reason why the walls were different, why this bed was more comfortable than his own, and why Anna was asleep beside him. Again.

He smiled, stroking a finger up her side and watched her twist away from it, still asleep. With a more wicked thought he placed soft kisses over her shoulders. He continued, even through her groan.

"Mr. Bates we need to get up. If you continue we might be late."

"Then we'll be late."

"It's a funeral."

"All the more reason to celebrate life right now."

"I thought we celebrated last night?"

John put his mouth close to her ear, "If you rather I stopped..."

"No," She pulled the hand he had at her waist up her stomach, "Continue by all means."

"If the lady insists."

John kissed back to her shoulders, trailing his fingers lightly up her stomach with one hand and then down her leg with the other. He timed it just right so his first touch to her breast came just as his fingers whispered over her sex. She gasped with the motions, trying to move her body in two different directions to answer the teasing of his fingers.

He played her up and down with one hand, stroking in and out before coming back up to press on her bundle of nerves. His other hand kneaded, twisted, and soothed with his deep breaths as he kissed her even so lightly. Her moans encouraged him and even her whimpers only spurred him on in his playful attitude. One of her hands covered his at the juncture of her legs and tried to control his speed while the other reached behind her to hold onto his neck, searching for an anchor.

"John."

"Yes?" John kissed down her side, feeling her body reaching the peak as her breathing increased.

"I need you."

"As the lady commands." John turned her onto her stomach and pulled her hips back toward him as he kneeled behind her. She buried her face in the pillows as he stroked himself along her center a few times, groaning a moment before John pressed on her center with his fingers.

Her scream was lost in the pillow as John massaged her down from her high, almost letting her relax. When she seemed too calm he pressed inside her and her whole back arched toward him. John helped catch her and she pulled on his neck to kiss him for the first time that morning. She only let him go when the hand not holding her hip in place squeezed her breast and she released in a gasp for air.

Anna fell back onto her hands and knees as John picked up speed. His hands were everywhere, continuing the sensations from her first orgasm to help her right into a second. As she cried out his name again he leaned over her.

"I only want to hear that sound for the rest of my life."

Anna buried her head in the pillow again as John finished, grunting out her name as well.

They fell sideways, still connected, and Anna pulled John's hand over her body and held it to her heart. He felt her breathing evening and pulled from her, kissing her shoulder as he did. She turned just enough to kiss him on the mouth and went back to resting against him.

"Did you mean it?"

Her voice was almost so soft John missed it but he tried to curl himself around her even tighter. "Of course I did."

"Then I need to tell you something." Anna moved away and sat up in bed, looking so serious John worried a moment.

"What?"

"I've been thinking and I've come to a decision but you're not going to like it."

"Anna-"

"We're going to get married."

John couldn't speak, blinking rapidly to try and clear his thoughts as all his fears that this was the moment she finished with him were banished. "What? Now?"

"Well not this minute but soon, yes."

"We can't. You're buried in work with the fisheries."

"You're not listening." Anna placed her hands on either side of John's face, "You're going to get a special license, I don't care what it costs, and you'll choose the day. We don't have to tell anyone but this you will do for me."

"What about what people will say? What about the rumors Thomas has going around or O'Brien?"

"Wasn't I bold enough to invite you into my home?"

John felt himself blush at the memory of Anna having her way with him the first time… and then every time after that. "Yes, you were."

"Then am I not bold enough now to say to hell with everyone else and marry the man I want forever?" John didn't answer her. "I won't have us standing on the sidelines, pretending we're not as mad for each other as we truly are, and barely touching in public because who knows what someone will say. I won't watch from my window at night wondering how you are because you have to be so far away from me and then worrying about what I'd do if something happened to you."

Anna took another deep breath, studying her bedspread with sharp eyes. "I will be your wife and stand by your side through the rumors and the lies and whatever else may come because I love you, John Bates, and sink or swim this is were I'll be."

John moved up, putting his hands over hers to draw them down from his face to kiss them. "I could never refuse you anything."

"Good." Anna moved back into his embrace, "We're supposed to use one another to find our light in these storms."

"With you by my side the whole world feels like it's bathed in light." John ran a hand down her back. "I do promise that I'll propose properly very soon."

"You'd better. I do want a ring."

"Nothing fancy I hope, given that I'm a destitute individual."

"Just a ring." Anna sighed, "Because other than you I don't want anything else."

"What about your cottage? If you're my wife then you move into the lighthouse and leave this place behind."

"I won't need it to look at the lighthouse if I live there now will I?" Anna looked up at John and he kissed her forehead. "I'll probably ask Tom if he wants it. It'd be a good thing to show Robert when he does eventually ask Sybil to marry him."

"If I had a house to show when I married a woman I think their fathers would be very pleased indeed." John moved, "Come on. We need to get to a funeral."

John joined the shorter line to give his condolences to Robert Crawley while Anna made her way to the stone-faced Mary. Robert rubbed at his wife's shoulder as John approached but hurried to offer him a hand.

"I'm so sorry sir."

"It's a rotten business Bates I tell you." Robert looked over at the coffin. "It never comes when you expect it. And after all you did to help save him… Just a rotten business."

"I did the bit I could. I think Mr. Branson and Mr. Talbot did far more for him than I did. And the doctor did the most of all."

"But you helped give me my grandson and leave Matthew's legacy in one piece and if he were here he would've thanked you too." Robert released John's hand. "On top of it all I have to arrange another funeral for later in the week."

"Sir?"

"Last night there was a boating accident. Thomas was out in one of my boats and got himself run aground. The man never could properly control one of my sloops."

John thought back to the argument with a drunk Thomas in the bar. "Sir, I don't know if you know this, but a few weeks ago Mr. Barrow and I tussled a bit at 'The Delicate Spoon'."

"I'd heard and offer my sincerest apologies for the abhorrent behavior of my former valet. It's simply abominable."

"That's just it sir, he said something odd to me then that might seem a bit out of context but you just said he didn't know how to steer one of your boats." Robert looked confused, "When you decided to challenge that storm, on the night I saved you, had you planned on taking another boat out that night?"

"Originally I was going to take _The Abbey_ or _The Dowager_ but at the last moment I decided on _The American Beauty_. I always liked that boat and it never failed me before."

"Did Mr. Barrow suggest another boat?"

"What are you on about Bates?"

"In the fight he said I ruined his plan to save you." John shrugged, "I didn't know what it could mean but I guess he planned some act of extreme heroism by planning something on a boat he could control."

Robert thought a moment, "He did suggest we take _Isis_ but I usually leave her for racing or pleasure cruising."

"I think he hoped to impress you in some way that night and he simply couldn't keep a hold on the boat. Perhaps he was foolish enough to try again last night and simply pressed his luck too far."

"Well the poor blighter bashed himself on the far cliffs. It's probably why you didn't see him with the light, it was behind you." Robert heaved a breath and John bit his cheek so he didn't confess to where he'd been the night before. "Even so, I guess we all do stupid things when we try to impress people in the wrong ways."

"I can attest to that sir." John nodded at him, "Again, my condolences and if there's anything I can do please don't hesitate to let me know."

"I will Bates, thank you."

John walked a pace away and waited for Anna to join him. She put her hand through his arm, shaking her head. "She's just empty."

"Everyone grieves in their own way."

"All the light's out of her John." Anna sighed, "I just wish I knew how to help her."

"Just keep doing your job so it's one less worry for her." John pulled Anna to the side, "Robert Crawley just told me Thomas died."

"What?"

"He stole a boat last night and bashed it on the cliffs." John shook his head, "I should've been at the lighthouse."

"There wasn't a storm last night John, how were you to know you'd be needed?"

"It's my job Anna."

"The it's a good thing I'll be joining you there then. You'll never have to be away from the light again." Anna frowned at John's face. "Which cliffs?"

"The ones out of view of the light."

"Then there's nothing you could've done anyway and I refuse to have you driving yourself mad trying to blame yourself." Anna put a hand on his, "Thomas made a foolish decision and paid for it with his life. Let's not waste any time in ours blaming ourselves for it when it wasn't our fault."

John smiled at her but Anna still frowned.

"I know your face when you brood, Mr. Bates, and I can tell that smile's only on the surface."

"Give it time to fade." John looked up and nudged Anna, "I think someone wants to speak to you."

Anna turned and broke away from John to talk with Gwen, hanging on the arm of a kind-looking man with a mustache. They spoke briefly, Gwen looking simultaneously excited and agitated. John waited and jumped slightly when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He pivoted to see Talbot standing there, offering him a cigarette. John waved him off and Talbot lit his.

"Nasty business, burying the young."

"Having buried a few people myself I can vouch for that." John sighed, "He seemed a decent chap."

"He was," Talbot blew out a stream of smoke. "I liked him the first time he came into the fishery. Had nothing but compliments for the whole business and a load of suggestions. Very eager to learn about it even though he had a job. Just excited by the idea of helping make life better I suppose."

"Would that we were all a little more like that eh?" John saw Anna coming back, "Thank you for stopping that day."

"I'm here to help and serve. Besides, though it may not be the place to say it, being a funeral and all, I'd never miss an opportunity to try and impress Mary Crawley." He stubbed out his cigarette on the stones, "Hope to see you around the fishery again John."

John nodded him off as Anna returned and John gave her his arm again. "What'd Gwen have to say?"

"She just told me the Flintshire's fisheries went under. Turns out their reported yields were exaggerated and they've been bringing in bad hauls for months now. The whole place is going under and they have to sell at a reduced price or risk bankruptcy. As is they'll only just cover all their debts."

"Would you move in to buy?"

"We'd want to get as much as we could before the Mertons or the Aldridges come in for the business but I don't think we'll expand too far. We only smoothed our new rotation last week I'd hate to start everyone on a new system so soon. It'd be unfair."

"I'll say." They walked in silence a moment, "Then what about O'Brien?"

"What about her?" Anna kept her gaze forward.

"Didn't you say she was the Flintshire's man or something with the inspection board?"

"She was. But the Board of Fisheries found out she'd been getting paid under the table and they sacked her. The Flintshires wouldn't take her back since she's no longer of use to them, and now she's apparently gone to Portsmouth hoping to find work there."

"Will anyone hire her?"

"I don't know." Anna scrunched her face in a way that made John want to kiss her in a fashion completely unacceptable in public. "If she's got good references I guess. I never liked her but she was good at her job. If she hadn't been trying to ruin us I might even consider hiring her because she was efficient."

"You always see the best in people."

"People deserve the benefit of every doubt." Anna grinned up at John, "If not then who'll give up the same?"

"'Do unto others' and all that I guess?"

"Exactly that Mr. Bates. You've been listening in church."

"I had a reason to start going."


	20. Chapter 20

Anna pulled at the edge of her dress and almost jumped when a knock came at the door. She tried to even her breathing and opened the door to see John standing in a smart black suit with a red rose.

"It may not go with your dress but I thought you deserved it."

Anna too it from him, the smile almost splitting her face in two. "I think it's rather lovely."

"Not as lovely as you."

"If you continue being so charming Mr. Bates we may not reach our destination tonight." She winked as he grunted and shifted his feet. "However I'm very intrigued about the promise of Indian food so I won't be missing it."

"Then right this way." John gave her his arm and they walked to the car. "I borrowed Tom's car since it would be a bit of a hike otherwise."

"I didn't being the shoes for that so thank you." Anna waited as John opened her door and she climbed into the seat before waiting for him to join her. "I asked Tom if he wanted to buy my house and he told me this morning he was ready to. Said he plans to propose to Sybil by the weekend and wants the house settled when he asks Robert for her hand."

"He's a brave man."

"Why do you say that? Robert's not so scary." Anna tied a scarf around her head as they headed off, trying to keep her hair contained.

"Asking any man permission to take his daughter from him is terrifying. You are separating a man from the woman he loves second most in the whole world and would fight lions to protect. No matter how qualified the man it's a daunting request."

"I think my father would've agreed with you." Anna sighed, watching the sunset from the open car. "He always called my sister and me his angels. I think, had he been alive, no matter who man I brought home he would've been hesitant to say yes."

"Even to me?" John raised an eyebrow at her and Anna nodded.

"If what you say is true then yes. But I think you would've won him over."

"What makes you so sure Ms. Smith?"

"For starters," She shifted a little in the seat to watch his profile, "You make me incredibly happy and any father who loves his child wants nothing more than that for them so you'd already be playing at an advantage."

"Lucky me."

"You certainly were last night… and this morning…. And most of last week."

"I have been a very lucky man," John steered carefully around a passing lorry. "Though, to risk dampening the mood, how are the Crawleys?"

"Mary is doing better and I think George is helping her. Having someone that needs your love makes you a little less lost in your grief I think." Anna thought a moment, "And time more than anything."

"It has been a few weeks."

"Yes. And summer's almost here so she's focusing on what she'll do with the fisheries they acquired from the Flintshire bankruptcy."

"She's still involved in it?"

"With all she's done Robert decided that he could retire and leave her to run the business. Since Edith's happy in London and Sybil's decided to enter a nurse's training course under Mrs. Crawley he's taking his wife to America."

"That'll be fun for them."

"I hope so." Anna untied her scarf as John stopped the car outside the restaurant, "I've always wanted to go to America. Just to see it."

"Perhaps we should go one day."

"Perhaps we should Mr. Bates." Anna took John's hand as he helped her out of the car, "Though I think I'd rather see India since you could show me the sights."

"Only the sights around the Naval bases. I wouldn't be much help outside of those cities and since they're very British I doubt it'd be very different."

"The heat would be different."

They entered the restaurant and the Indian man greeted them with a smile. John bent down to touched a hand to the man's feet. The man urged him to stand and John waved his hands back over his head. Anna watched it as the two men greeted one another and the man took them to a low table. John helped Anna sit on the small stool and took one across from her.

"What was that?" John looked confused, "At the door. Why did you touch his feet?"

"Oh," John laughed, "The man, Mr. Yadav, is from Bombay and in Bombay much of the population is Hindu. In the Hindu culture one greets their elders by respectfully touching their feet."

"And when you waved your hands back over your head?"

"It's symbolic of taking their blessings on your head." John gratefully took the menus from the girl wrapped in a golden sari, "What little I did learn when in India was enough to respect a culture I don't understand."

"Maybe we could understand it together." Anna glanced over the menu, "I think you should order since I don't even think I can pronounce most of these."

"Prepare your mouth for a considerable amount of flavor and fire."

Anna grabbed for her water glass.

John took Anna back to the lighthouse after dinner for a cup of tea as she kept trying to breathe through her open mouth in an attempt to dispel the flames. John helped her inside and poured her a small glass of milk while preparing the tea.

"The milk will help with the oils."

Anna drank it as quickly as possible and almost instantly felt her mouth cooling. She breathed easier, sighing with relief as she put the glass back on the table. "I don't think I've ever eaten pure fire before."

"It is the benefit of Indian cuisine, a mouthful of flavor." John put a cup of tea in front of her. "I never tasted anything like it before I went there the first time and my superiors took all the first-timers for the food without warning. We were almost crying it was so hot and my commanding officer was laughing so hard he fell off his chair."

"That sounds miserable."

"That's the Navy for you." John took a sip of his tea, hand in his pocket. "The best thing I ever did and yet the worst thing."

"Why the worst thing?"

"Because I think I did it to escape my life and then I did it to escape my marriage. I never did it to serve or to find myself but to escape." John took Anna's hand, "I didn't really even find myself until I found you."

"John." Anna put her other hand over his, "I think I found myself in you too."

They sat in silence a moment before John got up to take care of their cups. "And should I take you home Ms. Smith?"

"I don't know if I want to go home Mr. Bates." She crossed one leg over the other, "What if I want to stay here?"

"And if you do?" John walked toward her slowly, moving to his knees by her chair, "What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know." Anna giggled as John tickled up her leg. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to get an answer out of you." She tried to get away from his tickling. "What should I do?"

"I don't know." She squealed as John moved to one knee and Anna tried to stop laughing. "What are you doing now?"

"Proposing properly." John held her hands in his, "I haven't got a ring or anything but I know I don't want anyone else and I know I want nothing more than to make you happy. So if you-"

Anna never gave him a chance to finish whatever he had in mind because she flung herself at him and started attacking his mouth. They kissed on the floor for a moment until John moved to stand, lifting Anna with him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, slanting her mouth on his to get better access. He opened his mouth to breathe and she used a hand to hold his face steady as she sucked at his tongue.

In a moment he had her back against the wall and she clung to him, trying to feel him with every part of her body that would reach his. John broke away for a moment and kissed over her jaw toward her ear. "Can I assume this is a yes?"

"What else could it be?" Anna bit at his earlobe and felt his whole body shudder a moment.

"A very regretful no." John teased as he nipped down her neck and she gripped the lapels of his coat.

"Then you don't know me very well." Anna pulled his head up, "But to ensure there's not confusion, this is yes."

She pulled him to her again and started her hands down his jacket, sliding it from his shoulders as he kissed her mouth. She closed her eyes, feeling his presence around her while her fingers moved down his shirt, flicking buttons open. She worked his cuffs open as well and his shirt joined his jacket on the floor.

He moved to her neck again, sucking his own trail from chin to collarbone as one hand held her close to him with a firm grip on her back. The other massaged up her side, over the top of a breast, and then down her sternum as he flicked her delicate buttons from their loops. He moved to pull the dress apart and brought his hand from her back to stroke around to her exposed torso.

Anna groaned with the sensation of his fingers and raked her nails down his chest. He broke from his efforts and she took his mouth again, urging him further with a shake of her hips to dislodge the dress. She stepped out of it, only fumbling slightly, and they both sniggered before John brought a hand around to her knickers.

His eyes darkened almost immediately as he fit two fingers into the waistband and slowly pulled the item down her legs. Anna tried to focus on the rasp of the cloth down her legs as John knelt to help her step out of the article of clothing. He took first one ankle in his grip and then the other in turn as he helped her step out of her shoes then her knickers.

Moving his hands up her legs Anna held onto the wall behind her when they rolled her stockings down. His hands slowly slid up her legs and John only pushed her chemise up enough to expose her to his view. Anna stopped breathing as John blew hot air at her sex. He moved one hand to her hip and pushed her legs apart with his other hand.

"May I?" John waited until she finally looked him in the eye.

"Please do." Anna put one hand to his shoulder as the other retained its hold on the wall.

John kissed her softly at the stomach and moved down, placing delicate, chaste kisses over her hips and down to her nerve bundle. He only sucked slightly but Anna whimpered. John moved the hand from her leg to where hers rested on his shoulder and intertwined their fingers as he licked her from one end to the other. Anna's head went back so fast she was sure she saw stars not entirely associated with his ministrations but in a moment any possible pain was forgotten in the feel of his mouth on her.

Her moans grew deeper and John added the fingers of their intertwined hands to the action and Anna's eyes flew open. Watching John's face as he drew back, stroking through her with their fingers had Anna breathing faster. He watched her face and when Anna felt it was almost too much John leaned forward and bit near her nerve bundle.

Anna screamed and only barely felt john hold her to the wall so she didn't collapse. She only just recovered her breath as John moved to hold her in his arms. She rested a head on his shoulder a moment before finding enough strength to kiss him. Anna relished the taste of herself on him and it drove her hands to his belt.

Flipping the catch she pulled it from his loops and pulled his trouser fastenings apart. Wrapping a hand around his shoulder she drove her hand down his chest under his waistline and found his arousal. She grabbed it and broke the kiss enough to see his eyes roll back into his head.

Anna smiled to herself as she worked him from base to tip, twisting a bit as he rutted his hips in her direction. Their movements backed her up to the wall and with his motions she could feel the rhythm on her already sensitive sex. She gasped but kept up her speed, pulling him closer by the shoulders and kissing him as hard as she could.

John finally pushed his trousers and pants down far enough to move and lifted Anna by the hips. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he moved her hand off him.

"I've never loved anyone like I love you." He stopped and suddenly time froze. "I'll never love anyone but you ever again."

"I could never love anything like I love you." Anna held his gaze as he slid into her. "Without you life has no meaning."

John didn't respond to her with words. Instead he rocked into her as she held him tightly to her. He used the wall as leverage but kept his strokes long and slow at first. When Anna scrabbled for hold he increased his pace, pressing as deep as he could as fast as he could. She moaned into his shoulder, holding his neck to her own shoulder as she tried to sink into his very skin.

In a few moments he moved his hand between them and pressed at her sex. She cried out again and a few moments later he finished. He held them to the wall until Anna could disentangle her legs from him and John tried to step back.

His trousers tripped him a little and Anna tried to stop a laugh as he fell to the floor. He seemed more surprised than hurt but she bent down, "Are you alright?"

"My pride might be a little injured but I'm fine." He took her hand as she helped him stand. "Glad you saw that then instead of when we first met."

"I would've talked to you anyway." Anna gathered their clothes as John secured his trousers again. "How could I turn away from someone who looked at me the way you did?"

"I hope if any man ever stares at you the way I did you won't pay them any mind."

"What other men?" Anna ran a hand over his cheek, "There'll never be anyone else for me John. No one but you, ever."

John kissed her hand, "And now I get to spend the rest of my life thanking you for that."


End file.
